You
by KissKissCrush
Summary: The third installment of my After the Battle series (all stand alone) in which Charlie discovers a shell-shocked Aro as a sole refugee at the Cullen's house a month after the fight and reluctantly becomes awkward friends with him. If you're only going to read one Aro/Charlie love story this year (because there aren't any others) make it this one. Slash, not graphic.
1. Lost and Found

AN~Just give me one chapter. If you don't like that, give me two.

They'll win you, I promise.

* * *

**1**

There wasn't a message on my answering machine and they weren't answering their phone.

Again.

I wasn't interested in playing the,"Where the hell is my daughter?" game anymore. Especially because this time it included my granddaughter who did not need to be a victim of her mother's irresponsibility.

Their house was only a five minute drive from ours. Mine. It would take some more time before I stopped thinking of this house as belonging to more than one person again. It had taken a long time after Renee left with Bella to adjust to the oppressive silence of the empty rooms when I came home at night. I spent a lot of time away from home until my brain finally accepted the new gap as reality. It was awkward when Bella moved back at first, having the smells and sounds of another person around after so long felt intrusive. I was glad she was back, I just didn't know how to _be_ for a while. And now I was alone again.

Sort of. There was Sue. I hadn't asked her to move in with me and she hadn't asked me to move in with her. I wasn't certain why. I liked spending time with her. We shared interests but the tumult of Bella's life since she moved back here had drained me more than I think I realized until she disappeared a month ago. I wasn't resentful but whenever I see new pieces of grey in my hair now I'm reminded of how hard things have been and I think that's why I've been keeping Sue at a distance.

The house looked empty when I pulled up. It was late afternoon and dark enough in the trees that some lights should have been on if anyone was there. It was dark though. All the large windows were black and an abandoned feeling pervaded. I got out anyway.

I was almost to the porch when I saw movement inside. It was frighteningly quick. A swoosh of black and red past the front windows. The door opened a moment later and the strangest person I had ever seen in Forks appeared. It wasn't an assessment without weight as there had been an inexplicable wave of weird outsiders coming into town over the last few years. But this guy won the prize without contest and I'm guessing would have in nearly any other place he was as well.

He was extremely pale, like all of the Cullens were and like Bella was when she finally returned from her Honeymoon. He was actually paler than any of them though. This extreme pallor was enhanced by his hair which was black and long so his face was surrounded by its darkness making it a stark white oval floating eerily above his body.

But it was his clothing which really rounded off his complete oddness and sent it well into the bizarre. He was wearing an outfit that looked vaguely like something high-ranking military personnel during the Civil War would have worn. Only an overly dramatic, theatrical version. Over this he was wearing a cloak that was so long it actually pooled on the ground a little around him where he stood. It was lined with red and had a hood surrounded by black fur. The whole thing was so wacky I luckily couldn't even react to it and probably luckily didn't betray how startled I was by his sudden appearance as well as his overall strangeness.

His eyes were as black as his hair and he was staring at me with his head tilted a little looking intrigued but also sort of tense like someone who is afraid of heights but wants to look off the edge of a tall building anyway just to see how far down it is.

"Um, hey there. I'm looking for my daughter, Bella."

"Oh yes. Charlie. Of course."

His voice was sort of dreamy and quiet. Not at all as forceful as I would have expected from someone dressed like he was.

"So you know them . . .?"

I was actually thinking he might be squatting here while they were out of town. He did sort of give off the appearance of a lunatic and not just because of his screwy outfit.

"I do. I have been friends with Carlisle for . . . many years."

"Great. So, any idea where they are?"

He didn't answer. He was cupping his hands together nervously in various quick arrangements and glancing around at the trees behind me.

"Guessing they aren't here?" I coaxed since he didn't seem like he was listening or intending to respond if he was.

"No. They are not." His eyes came back to me and he swallowed.

"So are you staying here while they're gone . . .?"

"Oh. Yes. I'm—what is it you say?—house watching?"

"House sitting?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Okay. So everyone is gone?"

"As far as I know."

"As far as you know? Well is there anyone else here?"

"No."

"So everyone is gone then." I felt like I was talking to a very confused child. He looked sort of confused. Disoriented.

"Yes. They're all gone." The way he said it made the skin on my arms and back tighten uncomfortably like when you're watching a character clumsily explore a murderer's house in a horror movie.

"Okay then. Well, I need to get a hold of Bella. Any idea how I can do that?"

"I'm very sorry. I can't tell you how you might contact her . . ."

"Okay, well if you hear from her or from any of the Cullens, I'd like if you could have them call me or you could call me and let me know what they said about when they might be back."

I retrieved a business card from my pocket. It had the shield of the Forks Police Department embossed on it in blue and gold with my office numbers underneath. I almost told him to make sure to call the first number and not the one that said "fax" next to it because the more we talked the more I was becoming convinced that he might not be all there.

He took it from me and held it in front of him in both hands, staring at it intently like it was a photograph of a place he'd heard described but never been.

I turned to go back to my car and stopped at the bottom of the steps. I looked back and he was still standing in the doorway, holding the card gently between his fingertips, looking extremely lost.

Dammit. I wanted to just get away from him as quickly as possible but since it was actually my job to make sure things were secure in the town I knew I needed to get more information about his mental state before I left.

"Hey, um, are you okay, you seem a little . . ." I trailed off. What could I say next? Batshit crazy? About to have a nervous breakdown? Escaped from a psych ward?

"Oh. Well, I've had a sort of crisis recently. A . . . family thing. The Cullens were kind enough to offer me their house to recuperate. I suppose I've been a bit isolated since I arrived . . ."

"Huh. Okay then, well you have my card if there's any trouble. Sometimes there's wild animals around . . ."

I knew that Sue would immediately invite him dinner. The stray puppy visitor was a delightful diversion in a place not big enough for anything interesting to happen. I was pretty sure I didn't want this guy in my house, he made me extremely uneasy but unfortunately hospitality overrode my discomfort. "You know if you'd like, since you're new here and you say you've been alone this whole time, you could come over for dinner sometime. My girlfriend, Sue, she always makes more food than we can eat so there's plenty extra."

"Dinner," he said like he didn't even understand the word.

"Yeah. Doesn't have to be tonight but maybe this weekend. We just got home from a fishing trip so we've got a lot of trout to go through while it's fresh."

"That sounds . . . nice. Thank you."

"Okay. Well, why don't we plan on Friday then unless that's not good for you."

Just get this over, then I could return to my boring life which was actually just right for me. I liked normal and expected.

"Friday is as good as any other day. I haven't been keeping much of a schedule since I arrived."

"Sure. Well, we're over on K street. 775. White house with a cruiser in the front, can't miss it."

"Okay. Thank you, Charlie."

I started to turn away again and for the first time he spoke without being prompted.

"I'm Aro, by the way."

"Aro. That's an interesting name."

I looked over his outfit again and decided not to ask about it.

"I suppose."

"All right. Well, six o' clock is about when we eat usually."

He just nodded this time and then stood on the porch, very still, watching as I drove away. Hopefully he would weird out Sue as much as he did me and we could get away with a single dinner.

His face floated in the back of my mind for the remainder of that day. It was unusual. He didn't look feminine exactly but his features weren't particularly manly either. He was kind of refined looking, not _delicate_ but like a statue, very deliberately symmetrical and smooth. I had no idea if he was good-looking or not. I imagined he would have just unsettled everyone he came into contact with. It was easier to objectively judge ugliness than it was beauty and I felt I would have known if he would be called unattractive. It might seem like an awkward thing to ask Sue and I wasn't certain why I was even wondering about it. Maybe because I honestly had never seen anyone like him before . . .

* * *

It was Wednesday afternoon when I had gone to the Cullen's and he had been shoved aside by day-to-day concerns so it wasn't until Friday morning that I even thought to tell Sue about him. She was fine with it like I knew she would be and excited to have a guest.

I began feeling slightly anxious in the early afternoon and by four o' clock I was extremely and obviously nervous. I considered calling the Cullen's house and making up an excuse to cancel but since he hadn't answered the phone any of the other times I wasn't sure he would now.

I had no idea why the thought of him coming to my house was making me so agitated but I figured getting it over with was the best idea. Sue noticed my twitchy behavior and commented on it but I vaguely explained it away as work things. She kissed my cheek and told me to go sit down while she finished dinner.

At five forty-five I was feeling so queasy I was beginning to think I might actually be getting sick and I _should_ cancel but five minutes later there was a knock on the door and it was too late. Sue was at the door before I could get up and so I was standing awkwardly next to the dinner table when he stepped inside. He looked just as outlandish as I remembered but he wasn't wearing a freaky costume this time at least. He was dressed in all black again though which made his pale face and hands almost glow. He handed a bottle of wine to Sue.

"I didn't know if you were wine drinkers but the lady at the shop said this was very good. I'm not familiar with the wines in this region, I'm afraid."

"That's very nice, thank you," she said, smiling widely. She was either not as unnerved by him as I was or better at hiding it.

Then they both stood there silently until I realized it was my job to introduce them and I did so, I thought, without sounding as goofy as I felt.

"Well, we're almost ready. I was about to have Charlie set the table so you can help him if you want but please don't feel obligated. We're pretty casual."

"I'd be happy to help," he said immediately and uncomfortably for me. We filed into the kitchen and Sue placed a stack of plates into his hands. He'd already set them on the table when I turned around with the forks and knives. He held his hand out when I got to him and I offered the knives handle out. His fingertip grazed the side of my hand as he took them and I choked back a gasp. His skin was cold. _Really_ cold. Like he'd been out in the snow for hours. I wondered if he'd walked here. It hadn't occurred to me that he might not have a car.

He was looking me over carefully. About like the way I'd looked at him on Wednesday but it was so scrutinizing it actually made me back up a step which caused me to catch my elbow on one of the chairs and sent the forks I was holding to the ground with a tinny, metallic clatter. I gathered them quickly and stood again.

He was smiling at me oddly and a sharp shiver fled from the base of my neck down the length of my spine. Okay. Yeah, this guy was never, ever coming to my house again. There was definitely something off about him. I hadn't really wanted anything to do with all of whatever Bella and the Cullens had been into and I certainly wasn't interested now with this creepy stranger.

I was intensely relieved when Sue came in then with some of the food.

"Gotta go back for more forks," I said, holding up the ones I'd dropped. "Clumsy. Must have got it from Bella . . ."

"I doubt it's contagious," she said with amusement.

I gratefully left them next to the table and went back into the kitchen. I dropped the forks in the sink and then stood with my hands on the edge of the counter trying to figure out why breathing was suddenly so uncomfortable. I considered that I might be having a heart attack but my chest didn't hurt so I decided it wasn't that. I also considered slapping myself across the face but that felt a little dramatic so I just collected the clean silverware. Sue called for me to bring in the salad.

I set the bowl on the table on the side where no one was sitting and handed her a fork. I laid his on the table at the top of his plate. I didn't want to risk touching him again by handing it directly to him. His chilly skin freaked me out.

I was grateful that Sue was the chatty, hospitable type because it meant I didn't have to talk to him. But I learned nearly everything about him anyway short of the color of his underwear, which were probably black as well.

He was from Italy although he didn't sound particularly Italian to me. He was recently widowed. This part made Sue smile consolingly and pat his arm. He had two brothers and a sister who had died when she was young. I thought Sue might try to adopt him if the sob stories carried on any longer. I couldn't tell if he was lying but they weren't particularly unbelievable things so I tried to shake off the uncomfortable idea that he was hiding something big. He said he'd met Carlisle when Carlisle came to Italy during a medical study of some kind and I didn't know enough about Carlisle's life to know if it was true and I didn't really care anyway.

He picked at his meal, apologizing to Sue several times and saying he had some kind of condition that limited his food intake and he had to eat very small portions at a time but that the food was very good. He rattled off some incomprehensible disease name in Latin for the condition that I couldn't ever have remembered to verify even if I had understood him.

When we were almost finished eating I was starting to feel vaguely guilty that I was being so suspicious for basically no reason and I had relaxed a little bit. Enough to try being a part of the conversation if it hadn't turned to art which I knew nothing about and didn't particularly care to. Sue was describing the local handiwork of the Quileute and he seemed interested until she invited him to come to the reservation to see a small gallery there and he immediately grew visibly uncomfortable and backed away from his former interest as politely as he could saying that meeting a lot of new people made him nervous. Which didn't make sense since he had accepted an offer to my house without blinking, knowing there would be two strangers dining with him.

Sue opened the wine he brought but he didn't drink any saying that he was a recovering alcoholic with fifteen years sober. What kind of drunk brings booze as a gift? But given that he was a complete weirdo in every other respect I didn't dwell on it.

Sue got up to clear the dishes, leaving me alone with him again and I nearly jumped up to follow her but I knew I would be scolded for being rude if I did so I just sat there, exchanging awkward glances with him. Well, mine were awkward, he was smiling in a friendly way and I again felt guilty for my hasty assessment.

"Do you not enjoy meeting new people either?" he asked after what seemed like an extremely long silence.

"I don't know. You don't meet a lot of new people here. With my job, I feel like I know everyone by sight at least."

"Of course. Well, thank you for inviting me. It's a little lonely here. My wife and I lived close to my brothers so there was always someone around, you know. Even when you didn't want them to be. Family."

"Sure. I mean, I don't have a lot of family. Just Bella and Renesmee. And Edward, I guess."

"Do you not like your son-in-law?"

"He's not very likeable," I said without thinking.

He laughed and it was very different than his smiles before which now seemed very forced in light of this new outburst which felt more spontaneous and natural. It was a strange laugh, quiet but sort of erratic. It made him more accessible immediately even though it sounded a bit crazed. I'd always trusted people more when they laughed genuinely. Some people only ever laughed politely and otherwise never seemed to catch onto actual humor. Their flatness was off-putting.

"Edward is . . . complicated. He wasn't very happy before he met Bella. But he loves her very much. And your granddaughter who is very charming, by the way."

"Charming isn't a good enough word for what Renesmee is. There isn't a word for her." I hadn't seen her or Bella since Christmas and there was a painful ache in my chest whenever I thought about them.

"I've only met her once, but I think you are probably correct. She is an unusually pleasant child. I'm not generally fond of children but she didn't have anything sticky on her hands when I met her so that may have improved my impression."

"She's a really clean kid. Not like her mother. I'm pretty sure Bella was completely covered in peanut butter from the time she was three until she turned five."

"She grew into herself well it seems then. She's very unusual herself."

I was pretty sure he wasn't insulting her and he was right, Bella was unusual.

Sue came back and Aro thanked her again and said that he should go. Even though he had become less abnormal in the last few minutes I certainly wasn't about to beg him to stay.

I walked with him to the door. He turned around after stepping onto the porch and thanked me again. I could see that there wasn't a car in front of the house so he must have walked. I wished I hadn't gone to the door with him because now I was basically forced to insist he let me drive him back.

"Hey, uh, did you walk here?"

"I did. But it's quite all right. I enjoy walking and it isn't very far."

"Yeah well it's dark now and you're not exactly visible in what you're wearing so let me take you back."

"If you like."

_My pleasure, you kooky bastard._ _Just don't kill me in the middle of the woods, all right?_

He waited on the porch while I grabbed my keys and told Sue where I was going. She made a sympathetic face when I told her he'd walked here and it annoyed me intensely.

He was watching me really closely while we got in the car and then stared at my hands when I did my seat belt. He didn't do his until I had finished and started the car and then when he did it was with a really skeptical movement like he wasn't sure it was going to work. When the latch clicked he let go slowly with an amused expression on his face like he'd just seen a new magic trick.

"I've never been in a police vehicle."

"No criminal record, huh?"

"I'm fond of rules. I worked in law enforcement of a sort in Italy."

"Worked? You don't do that anymore?" I had no idea why I was asking for details when I could have easily filled the time with meaningless "yeahs" and "that's nice"s.

"Well, this recent family thing sort of forced me into retirement. I couldn't really work anymore. I just . . . well, it felt pointless without them."

"Was this an on-the-job thing then?"

"Sort of, yes. My brothers worked with me."

"Oh. So, something happened to them, too?"

"They've been missing for a bit, not long, but I don't expect they'll be found at this point. We'd made some enemies doing our job."

"Right. Well, that happens. I had one guy who got a little obsessed with me a few years after Renee and I got married. He made a few threats. It was the only time I ever kept a gun accessible out of a safe while Bella lived with me and only because she was too little to reach it."

"Was he apprehended?"

"I don't know. He just stopped harassing us after a while."

"That's good enough, I suppose. Frightening though, with your wife and daughter to be concerned about . . ."

"Well, even when there isn't a known crazy after you, you're always terrified when you have kids. From the day they're born, the world is suddenly a horrifying place full of dangers you'd never even thought about before."

"That's true."

"Did you say you had children?"

"I didn't say. We didn't have any natural children. We took in some foster children for a few years but they were teenagers and only stayed until they could live on their own. They were twins. Jane and Alec. We were told they were troubled when we got them but I never had any problems with them. I thought they were sweet . . ."

He sounded sadder talking about them than he had about his brothers or even his wife. I could feel empathy regarding that. It hurt when Renee left but taking Bella away was worse in some ways I didn't have words for. I got over Renee eventually but I never stopped missing Bella and it was awful when she stopped wanting to visit me here because I saw her less of the year.

"Do they keep in touch with you?"

"Not really. I mean, they are also missing."

"Oh. The same way as your brothers?"

"I think so."

"Was this some sort of mafia thing?"

"That's a good comparison but not exactly. A couple of powerful families who had been in disagreement for some time had a . . . falling out and it ended poorly for both sides."

"So when you said 'recuperating' you meant you're here in hiding? Like Italian witness protection?"

"Although I am fairly certain there is no one looking for me, yes, it might not be safe to return home at this time."

"Okay. I'm just wondering if there's some international law enforcement issue I need to know about . . ."

"Oh, no. Nothing like that. I'm here as a private citizen under my own power."

"Okay. Well, here you go. You've got my number there if you need it for any neighborly reasons . . ."

I was hoping he would take that as a hint that I was not offering friendship and quickly exit the car after I stopped. He was just staring at me though in a very intense way like he had some kind of x-ray superpower and he was checking out the bone structure of my skull.

"Thank you for having me over, Charlie. I suppose I will have to return that invitation at some point."

"Oh, uh, well don't feel obligated or anything. Just trying to be welcoming."

"Yes, well, it was very nice."

His hand went to the door handle but he didn't pull it yet. He was still watching me in a way that made it feel like it would be awkward to look away. I decided I would have to find some way to ask Sue if he was attractive because I still had no idea. He was so unique it was unsettling. I remembered how Bella's skin had also been very cold after and had felt sort of stone-like when I hugged her and for a mad second I almost reached out to touch his face to see if it felt the same way. Alice was the only other Cullen I had ever gotten close enough to to feel if they were the same. She'd put her hand on my arm and it was unexpectedly heavy and unyielding. I had known that the Cullens weren't related in any way but sitting there in the car with Aro, this person I had never heard them mention before, knowing that he was the same as them was the thing that really made it click into place that they were not humans. But they _used to be_, like Bella was. I stopped there. I didn't want to know what he was. If he was dangerous, it might mean I would have to do something about it and all I wanted to do was get away from him so I could shake off that weird squeezing sensation in my chest that I kept experiencing when he was near me. I had experienced fear of other men before while being a patrol officer, mostly while dealing with violent drunk people, but this didn't quite feel the same. It wasn't entirely uncomfortable and made me feel a little drowsy and stupid.

He smiled very slightly after a few moments and I was immediately dizzy. I looked away, fear circling me now, wondering if these creatures whatever they were had weird powers of some kind. If Jake could turn into a wolf, I supposed anything was possible.

He got out without speaking again. I let him get to the porch so he had the glow from the headlights to guide him as it was fully dark by that point. If it was possible to take a long way home in Forks, I would have taken it and instead I just stayed in the car for a few minutes after pulling up in front of my house.

When we'd gotten in the car to go to the Cullen's, I had been fairly certain I would like to avoid him forever from that point but I felt confused on returning after dropping him off like I had tasted a strange new food I wasn't certain I liked and felt like I should try again because it was so exotically far from my experience that judging on a single encounter seemed foolish. But I couldn't see myself willingly engaging him in the future so I set it aside and went in the house to resume my normal life the way it was before it was disrupted not just by him but the Cullens and whatever they all were. I had an increasingly sure feeling that I may never see any of them again and like when my parents had died, and when Renee had left, accepting the tragedy of it, the reality of it, held its own kind of grim peace.

* * *

END NOTES:

I love Aro here because he's sort of subdued and damaged. His world is just _gone_ and he's not used to being alone. He's far more vulnerable than ever before and it makes me want to squeeze the guts out of him.

As usual, I love being self-referential and so making Charlie drop a bunch of Forks in reaction to Aro the way Bella does at the beginning of _Sunlight_ gave me a nice I'm-my-own-fangirl moment.

I generally write from the POV of teens and twenty-something girls so writing a forty-something male was challenging but really enjoyable. Trying to keep the narrative plain and pragmatic but not dull was the hardest part about this but I also got to use "older people words" like "screwy" and "kooky" which was crazy fun.

_Trivia!_: Charlie's address is the one for the "Swan house" in Forks chosen by the Chamber of Commerce people after reading the books but before the movies were made. They're pretty butthurt about nothing being filmed there. That thing Charlie said about all the weirdos hanging around Forks is a joke about visiting Twihards.


	2. Bachelors

AN~Hey, a few people read this! I'm so happy. And if you liked it,_ you'll_ be happy to know that I've decided to extend the story a bit. It was only about 20k with a crazy sad ending before but it'll go longer now and I don't know what kind of ending there will be.

I also wrote a one-shot companion which you'll see later. It's *ahem* imaginative.

* * *

**2**

I thought about him a few times over the next several days and then forgot him almost entirely until he called me nearly two weeks later. It was late in the afternoon on a Friday right when I was about to leave work. I knew who it was before he identified himself. It wasn't that I knew the voice of everyone in town but his accent was strange even though his English was perfect. He sounded a little bit nervous which made the hair on my arms bristle weirdly like that feeling I sometimes experienced before a thunderstorm when the air was heavy and smelled like rain and electricity.

"Sorry to call you now, I'm certain you're busy which is why I waited until I couldn't get a hold of anyone else . . ."

"It's fine. Something wrong?"

"Yes, sort of, the electricity has gone out at the house. I don't know really anything about wiring but I went outside after I couldn't find anything wrong inside and there's a box on the side of the house that shows some damage. I called the only number in town I could find for someone who does repair work and he said I'd have to call Port Angeles on Monday . . ."

"Oh, yeah. You probably talked to Dan Grubman. He only does appliances and he's not very good at that anyway so you wouldn't want him near anything high voltage."

He chuckled lightly and it made me feel inordinately satisfied with my stupid joke. Most people laughed at the things I said but I wasn't ever sure if it was genuine or they were kissing ass. The way he laughed sounded easy and familiar and honest the same way it had at my house that night and I realized I wasn't feeling any of my earlier anxiety. He was just a guy.

"I see. Well, I don't know if you'll be able to help me but I assumed you would know more about the practical maintenance of American houses than I do so if you have a minute and you could look at it for me . . ."

"Ah. Yeah, I guess I could do that. Probably won't be until next week though. Pretty busy weekend . . ."

"Oh. Right. Of course. Well, whenever you have the time then."

It was sort of endearing that he was apparently naive enough to believe I would casually discuss leaving him without power for days like it was no big deal.

"I'm joking. I can come right now if you're home. I'm just leaving the station."

"I'm home but I don't want to put you out since I know you eat around this time . . ."

"Only when Sue's around cooking. The rest of the time it's bachelor scavenging."

"Hmm. I suppose I've been doing the same since I've been here. I've never been good at 'capturing my own food' you might say."

"That's a good way of putting it."

The Cullen's house was large and modern and didn't fit into the general theme of Forks real estate at all. Meaning it didn't have plastic siding or a half-gravel yard surrounded by a chain-link fence. It was set back from the road in the woods away from town a little bit. Not a long drive at all but it was still far more secluded than any other residence within the 98331 zip code.

He was standing on the porch when I got there and a lifetime of watching bad horror movies on late night TV when I couldn't sleep made me wonder for a minute if maybe he didn't want me to go in the house because he'd actually murdered all of the Cullens and needed the power to come back on to keep the freezers where he was hiding the bodies running.

He led me around to the side of the house where a large fuse box hung on the wall at the corner near the back porch. It was odd that it was outside on a house this new. It was open a little and the problem was obvious immediately: a lot of the wiring had been pulled out and snapped or cut so that the inside of the box looked like a plate of half-chewed wire spaghetti. And it wasn't a breaker box, it had several rows of antique glass fuses, several of which were broken roughly like someone had used a hammer on them. I had thought the house was new but it must have just been massively remodeled over an existing structure to still have this kind of set up.

"Would an animal do something like that?"

Was he serious? Maybe he was mentally challenged in some way and that theory actually made sense to him.

"Uh, no. A person did this. It's too high up for an animal to have done it. Maybe a bear, I guess but, yeah, no . . ."

"Oh."

"Could have been kids. It's a weird thing to do that's for sure. The Cullens weren't really very popular around here though. People didn't trust them. Dr. Cullen is a great doctor too so that was a shame. Anyway, they were particularly unwelcome with the Quileute for some reason but I doubt any of them would have done this . . ."

I watched him carefully when I mentioned the connection with the La Push tribe since I knew something about what Jacob could turn into was part of the reason they didn't get along.

"Oh yes, Carlisle told me something about that. Seemed a silly feud to me . . ."

He sounded a little wistful but just shrugged like he also didn't know what was going on.

"Well, at any rate, I can't fix this and, although I'm not sure, I would guess that doing anything here without cutting the power to the house from the street would be dangerous so you're stuck until Monday anyway because I am not that advanced as a handyman."

"Okay, well, that's all right. I've been using candles at night and it hasn't been a problem so far . . ."

"Wait, how long has the power been out?"

"Only a few days . . ."

Days. Plural. He was a helpless man-child. And I had accidentally adopted him. Great.

"You really should have called me sooner."

"I didn't want to be a bother."

"You've been living without electricity for days and calling the only person you know is a 'bother'? You're kind of strange."

"I've been told that before . . ."

"I bet. Anyway, you can't really stay here with no water and light so you should probably come stay in town over the weekend until we can get the wiring figured out."

"Oh, I suppose I should have thought about a hotel sooner, shouldn't I?"

"Yes, but you don't need to do that because Bella's room is empty and there's no reason you can't use it for a few days."

"If you're sure I won't be in your way . . ."

"Yeah yeah, go pack or whatever."

We walked back around the side of the house together and I chose to stay outside. This house was their house and Bella's for a while. I couldn't go in there. Even if there weren't freezers full of bodies, there were plenty on ghosts around.

He was back much quicker than I expected, carrying a small black bag. I took it from him and dropped it in the backseat. He got in the front with me and did his seat belt, less hesitantly than the last time but still with that peculiar air of mild surprise that it actually worked.

"Your car doesn't have that wire thing." He waved his hand over the back of the seat to indicate its usual location.

"What, the cage? Yeah, not really necessary around here."

"I've heard here is a lot of violent crime here in your country . . ."

"Well, luckily we don't usually have to worry about that much in Forks. Thefts mostly. Sometimes I think they just take things because they're bored. Do you deal with a lot of that in—sorry, I forgot the name of your city."

"Volterra. Not really, no. It's very safe for hu—people to live there for the most part although some would say there are far more murders than are ever reported. It's okay if you're a local but tourists have been known to disappear with startling regularity . . . people are often less vigilant than they should be when traveling internationally."

He'd almost said "humans" and then covered it up. So either he thought I didn't know or the slip was intentional to see if I would say something. And while I didn't know where Bella was, I decided to just carry on playing stupid and acting like it wasn't very obvious that he was not at all a human being in the traditional sense.

"Um. That's not good I guess. Do you guys try to keep track of that sort of thing?"

"Yes. Very closely but criminals, especially violent ones, don't care much for authority as I'm sure you know. They tend to make their own rules. But I think with the recent upheaval the area will be much safer for travelers from this point."

"You think the people involved in the disappearance of your family were also the ones preying on tourists?"

"Oh, yes. The evidence of that was abundant. They were not into subtly. It was absolutely the fault of that organization that the whole thing happened like it did. Their leader was extremely foolish to have thought he could get away with what he was doing forever and although others were involved, it was his personal greed which was their undoing ultimately, I think."

He was looking out the window with a glazed expression and his voice had grown increasingly hollow as this account continued. He shook his head sharply and smiled like you do when you're apologizing for something. "But he's gone now. They're all gone so it's irrelevant. Better this way . . ."

He was being vague enough that I was starting to wonder what side of this skirmish he'd really been on. He was becoming uncomfortably sympathetic though whatever the case was. I couldn't possibly say what he was like before whatever happened left him alone but, observing the severe melancholy around him as we drove in silence the rest of the way to my house, he seemed to be pretty harmless now. Or I was lying to myself for some reason.

There wasn't much for him to settle with his single bag but I showed him the room and apologized for the purple bedspread which he said was "utterly inconsequential" to him. The abundance of froofy language would be an adjustment and probably an obnoxious one at that.

I offered to order pizza for dinner but he said he'd already eaten. I wasn't sure what he could possibly have been eating in a house with a warm refrigerator but Bella never ate very much afterwards either so maybe they didn't need a lot of food to survive.

"Okay. Well, I will leave you to yourself I suppose. The house is yours. Bathroom is next door and the kitchen is, well, where the kitchen is. I'm going to be downstairs if you need anything."

"Thank you, Charlie. I think I will just read for a while before bed. And thank you again for the room."

I nodded and turned to go down the hallway to change out of my uniform. I had invited him here without even thinking about it. Maybe I had developed a tumor that was eating away at the part of my brain that normally made me a reasonable human being.

There was one of those little thumb locks on the inside of the handle for my bedroom door and after pulling it shut, my hand stayed there for a few seconds, debating if I should turn it. Then I decided that if he _was_ some kind of supernatural being that intended to do me harm, it was unlikely that the hollow sandwich-style wooden door would stop him for very long.

His door was mostly shut when I came back out. I went downstairs and sort of drifted from room to room aimlessly. I talked to Sue for a few minutes and told her what was happening. She said she was pleased that I had taken him in but there was something else in her voice I couldn't interpret. We'd never spoken about Jacob and his strange ability but I felt like she knew about it which meant she knew about them too. But since she didn't indicate I was in any danger I didn't let it weigh on me.

I drifted around some more. Turned on the TV but didn't watch it. Ate a half of a sleeve of Ritz crackers and finally just went back upstairs and went to bed. The light was off in Bella's room and it was silent so I assumed he must have been asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of wolves howling in the distance. I hadn't seen Jacob either since the Cullens all vanished and wondered if what I was hearing was actual animals or more things like him. I hadn't been very comfortable with the new uncertain reality I lived in after Jacob had shown me what he could do. Before that, what was real and what was make believe had been very concrete and now it seemed like there could be an infinite number of unknown monsters in the world, ones we had no defense against with no knowledge of their existence let alone how to protect ourselves.

I didn't like this new world. I missed my blissful former ignorance and I couldn't understand why I had so casually invited some of that other, unfathomable universe into my home.

* * *

END NOTES: Yes, not a lot happens. All setup, ho hum. But the _next_ chapter zomagawdyouguyz!

I really wasn't sure if I could pull off this pairing when it first occurred to me because, well, _it's insane_ obviously but man, Aro gleefully teasing a very uncomfortable Charlie Swan is seriously some of the most enjoyable dialogue I've ever written.

Next time on: _Awkward Twilight Pairings Theater!_


	3. A Friend of Yours

_AN~This story is rapidly becoming massive and going far beyond what I had originally intended it to be so plenty more to come from here, kids._

* * *

**3**

Those glass fuses turned out to be antiques and were on backorder with the only two companies that still manufactured them. Which meant he stayed in my house, driving me up the wall, for nearly a month.

He tried to be polite and helpful which annoyed me more than if he'd just stayed in his room the whole time because it was obvious whenever he tried to do something that he not only didn't know how to pretend to be human very well but that he wasn't used to being around them at all so I had to begin actively pretending I didn't notice all the weird shit he did and said. The way he walked up the stairs reminded me of Bella learning to do it when she was a baby. Instead of walking up them normally he went up each one individually putting both feet on each step before going to the next one. He saw me giving him a weird look while doing this one day and stopped in the middle of the staircase like it was a natural place to just hang out casually for a minute. He did most active things in this same horrifically slow way except for a few times when he'd reacted to something spontaneously and moved so fast he practically disappeared for a second or two. This happened one time about a week after he got there when I was doing the dishes. A soapy glass had slipped from my hands and he'd caught it neatly an inch from the floor and handed it back to me like it was nothing. I think that was when he realized that he was maybe being too obvious and he took to standing very still and not touching anything in a room unless he had to which only highlighted his oddness even more.

Despite his ridiculous politeness he also inadvertently revealed himself to be extremely snobby about random things I couldn't begin to predict or understand. I'd found him examining a hand-held can opener with a bemused expression when I got home from work one afternoon. I asked him if they didn't have can openers in Italy and he'd said, "I don't eat canned food," and dropped it back into the drawer like it was a dirty sock.

He was aggressively cheery most of the time which made me feel guilty for my grumpiness toward him which in turn made me more grumpy. But he wasn't actually terrible to be around in spite of all of this. He was pretty funny and told these bizarre stories illustrated with a lot of elaborate hand gestures and facial expressions as well as almost perfect impressions of the characters in the story when they were about people I knew. I found his mimicry of Edward, probably enhanced by my dislike of the little punk and his unflattering portrayal of him, to be particularly hysterical and he'd smiled widely when I laughed at it.

In the middle of the second week, when I had started to get used to having him there, was when I noticed that his eye color had changed dramatically from when I first saw him. I didn't usually go around checking to see what color eyes all my male friends had but I had a vivid memory of his being black. Now they were the same clear, bright gold as all of the Cullens. It was such an obvious change that I came very close to asking about it thinking that maybe _not_ asking about it would be a bigger giveaway that I was pretending not to know but I didn't know how I could possibly start a conversation like that without sounding like I was hitting on him so I just ignored it like everything else.

I had no idea what he did during the day really except that the house was gradually slightly cleaner as his stay got longer. Having a house-cleaning, non-smelly dude roommate wasn't really something you could complain about but I also didn't know how to thank him for it so I settled for trying to be friendlier.

I'd planned a weekend fishing trip with Sue before his stay that fell on the third weekend after his arrival. Sue called to cancel the night before we were supposed to leave. She said she wasn't feeling well but it was an obviously made up excuse since I had never known her to be sick and Harry had said the same about her on multiple occasions. It wasn't the first time she'd cancelled on me recently but I hadn't felt comfortable questioning her about it yet.

I had already packed everything into the truck so we could leave before it was light out. I used to always go alone so I didn't really consider not going at all but it felt different because I had expected to have a second person.

Aro was in the living room, reading as usual. I wasn't sure how he had anything left to read since that's all he did when he wasn't actively engaged in making my life as awkward as possible but I guessed Bella had probably left some of her books upstairs.

"Hey, uh, Sue cancelled on our trip but I'm still going so, same plan I guess."

"Oh, well that's unfortunate. Is she all right?"

"She said she was sick but I don't know."

"You don't believe she is ill?"

"I don't know. Doesn't matter. Not going either way."

"Hmm. Well don't get lost out there in the big woods all alone, Chief Swan."

"You think I'm more likely to get lost out there than Sue?"

"Yes."

He was smiling faintly. He'd started subtly teasing me recently and I wasn't sure how to interpret it. He always sounded so close to serious that I wasn't even sure that's what he was doing but it made me feel nervous like when we first met.

"I'll be fine. I'm leaving early so I probably won't see you in the morning. You got everything you need here?"

"I will be fine as well. Thank you for inquiring."

He had closed his book which I now saw was an outdated _TV Guide_. Guess he had read almost everything in the house. He was watching me in this way that always made me feel uncomfortable turning my back on him. Not that I thought he was going to do anything but more like he was extending our conversation silently and was expecting me to continue talking. I wondered if maybe I was supposed to offer some kind of courtesy invite. He seemed to live by this rigid code of manners I did not understand and couldn't possibly have followed if I did.

"Okay . . . well, have a nice weekend."

He smiled and I had that cold, shivering sensation along my spine that I had had the first night he came here after I'd dropped the forks. He raised his eyebrows and then finally dropped his eyes back to his "book" and started reading it again with a very serious face like he was studying Shakespeare. Sometimes I wondered if he was actually doing this kind of thing to see how long it would take me to finally say, "Okay! _Fine!_ I know you're not human! What do you want me to do about it?"

"Probably polite to invite you at this point, I guess . . ."

He took a few seconds before looking up, like he was finishing a paragraph. He was absolutely fucking with me. He had to be. Maybe if he went with me, I could drown him "by accident." He was so irritating, I was pretty sure no one would miss him. Except I felt sort of responsible for him now. He was like an unwanted stray animal that I had made the mistake of feeding once and then he never went away and now I felt guilty about just abandoning him since he was obviously incapable of caring for himself.

"It would be polite but politeness is rather arbitrary most of the time and you don't have to."

"I mean, you're not like, 'outdoorsy' anyway . . ."

"I actually spent a lot of time out of doors back at home but I have never been American-style camping so I cannot say if it's something I would enjoy."

"Right. Well the fact that you just said 'American-style camping' is a pretty good indicator that you probably wouldn't like it."

"So I'm _not_ invited then?"

"Oh. I didn't—are you serious?"

"Well I am very busy here but since these programs ran—" he flipped the guide to check the year "—twelve years ago, their air times aren't probably of immediate importance."

"Um. Okay. I guess you can come if you want."

"Thank you. I think I will. Unless you'd rather I didn't."

"No. It's fine. Leaving early though."

"I'll be awake."

"Okay . . ."

I turned and walked away before the conversation could progress into me inadvertently inviting him stay until next Christmas.

As I passed his room I saw that his clothes were all hanging or folded very carefully and realized that he didn't own anything he could take into the woods. The Outfitters was still open for an hour but I would go in there wearing a dress and a sunhat before I'd go in there to help him clothes shop and sending him in alone would probably result in me being called to come and arrest him for unintentionally creating some epic level of public disturbance unrivaled in the history of Forks.

There was a cardboard box full of old clothes in the bottom of my closet. I pulled it out and stared at it feeling resentful that I was having to dress him anyway even if it wasn't at a store. They smelled sort of stale and I considered washing them until I remembered I sure as hell wouldn't do it for any other guy and I wasn't going to do extra work just because he was prissy. I tugged loose several pairs of jeans and a few t-shirts, reluctantly choosing ones without obvious stains or holes. He'd probably just be more annoying and fidgety if his clothes were ratty.

I went back into the hallway and caught him just at the top of the stairs.

"Hey. Um, so you don't seem to have any clothes that are . . . ahem, rugged enough for this kind of activity so . . ."

He leaned on the edge of the doorway leading into his room, pretending not to notice the clothes I was holding.

"Are you intending to push me into the river?"

"What? No."

"That's good because my clothes are mostly dry clean only . . ."

"Yeah, that's what I meant. You can't really go in your clothes. There's a hike to get to the campsite . . ."

He was just watching me again, looking mildly amused, and it kind of made me reconsider my assurance that I was not going to push him into the water. The thought of it was actually very tempting.

"Anyway. I'm too lazy to throw anything away and I had some old clothes from before I got fat that you might be able to wear."

"You are not obese, Charlie . . ."

"I wasn't being a girl. You're just smaller than me. Look, just take the clothes so that I can end this, the most uncomfortable moment of my life, and go to sleep now."

"You have had a very cushy life it seems . . ."

He was smirking but he took the clothes from me anyway. He pulled the fabric of one of the t-shirts between his fingers but didn't comment on it. Instead he said, "I have never worn blue jeans."

"Yeah, okay. That's great. Hope they fit. Goodnight. And nobody calls them 'blue jeans' anymore so feel free to join this century any time."

I didn't know why I was being rude. Or why he seemed to be irritating me more everyday. He wasn't really different now but after my initial anxiety about him had worn off I discovered that just about everything he did annoyed me even when he wasn't doing anything. His _silence_ annoyed me. I turned to go back to my room and he said my name. I stopped but didn't turn back all the way.

"Thank you."

"Sure. Better get some sleep. Tomorrow will not be pleasant if you've never been on a hike, especially because you'll be walking in new shoes."

"Goodnight, Charlie."

I shut my door without looking back again. He always said my name . . . oddly. It sounded different than when other people said it. Softer.

And it infuriated me every time.

* * *

I made him stay in the car and went in Outfitters alone to get him shoes. He looked in the box I brought back and displayed the true depth of his politeness by not reacting outwardly to what I'm sure was complete horror at the ugly yellow hiking boots I'd found. There were darker brown ones too but I was feeling passive aggressive and the "uglier" ones seemed like a nice punishment for putting up with him for the past few weeks. He dropped the lid quickly and said, "Those look like fun," in a flat, distant voice.

"All they had, sorry."

He stared at me steadily as we pulled back onto the highway and headed out of town until I visibly displayed annoyance and then he turned to look out the window with a tiny, satisfied smirk.

There was an hour of driving to get into the park and it started raining before we'd even left the Forks city limits.

"What are those called?"

We were just passing the Chamber of Commerce and he was pointing at the field across the highway from it.

"Oh, those are elk. They're always hanging out over there. Usually a lot more of them by this time of year actually . . ."

"Are they valuable?"

"Like worth money? Not really. I mean you could sell the meat and pelts I guess but you'd have to hunt them to extinction to make it worth your time. It wouldn't be a smart way to make money."

"I mean are they valuable to the ecosystem here around Forks?"

"Oh. Uh, well, as much as any of the animals around, I guess. They're not carnivores so they're not keeping any other populations in check and they're not really a food source for anything down here although there are a lot of bears out where we'll be camping and they rely on elk and deer."

"Hm. I've never seen a bear . . ."

"Well if this is a reflection of the elk population on the peninsula this season, they might come down into town looking for a tasty human snack and you'll get to."

He laughed but it was nervous and sounded forced.

"Don't worry though. Bears don't usually attack people. Rifle shot will scare them off if any get close up there."

I reached back and rapped my knuckle on the window where a gun rack hung above the bed of the truck holding a rifle and a shotgun.

"Yes, I'm sure we'll be quite safe."

He was staring at the rain running down his window and smiling faintly.

As we got deeper into the park and the view morphed from the relatively dry, open spaces between the trees surrounding Forks into the close, mossy damp of the Hoh rainforest he became more alert, looking out the windows excitedly as the landscape changed around us. I identified with his reaction, even after living here my whole life, it still effected me in a similar way every time. The place was sort of—

"Magical."

He was smiling widely, tapping his fingers on his legs like he was ready to jump out of the truck and run off into the trees.

"Yeah, It's not a bad place to live . . ."

It was sort of fun to see someone who'd never been here before react to it. We'd reached the visitor's center and I parked in the lot next to the main building.

"I'm just going to check in and give them our location and then we'll be on our way. There are bathrooms over there. We've got another fifteen minute drive and then we'll be hiking for a while so enjoy the last of civilization while you can, I guess."

There were a couple of other people there already and I had to wait in line. There was a line of brochures along the bottom of the front windows advertising the various aspects of the park and I pretended to be looking at them so I could keep an eye on the lot. I saw Aro get out of the truck just as the first person left. He smiled at them politely and they swerved abruptly to avoid him even though they were already a good distance from him in the first place. I had gotten so used to the way be looked that I had forgotten how startling his appearance was at first. I hadn't actually gone out in public with him since he'd been staying with me. Sue hadn't reacted particularly surprised by him so I had thought maybe it was just me until now.

I got to the counter and the desk clerk, a guy I knew from La Push named Andrew, greeted me cheerily. He'd been working here forever and probably knew the entire park so well he could have strolled through it barefoot without a compass and come out the other side without a scratch.

"Hey, Charlie. How's it going?"

"All right. Just doing going after some steelhead while they're running."

"Sure sure. Good year for them. Where're you going?"

I penciled a set of coordinates onto a tattered check-in sheet along with the time I thought we'd be back the next day.

"Where's Sue at? I hope you're not dumb enough to have broken it off with her pale face."

"Nah. She said she wasn't feeling well. Stayed home. But as further punishment I have my unwelcome houseguest along."

He leaned past me to see into the parking lot and then sat back slowly looking far less cheery.

"That's a friend of yours?"

"Well, not really. He's a friend of . . . the Cullens . . ."

That's when I remembered the unexplained animosity between them and the Quileute.

"What's he doing here? I thought they'd move on already."

"Um. I don't know. They're out of town. He'd staying at their house while they're away . . ."

"I'd like to meet your new friend."

"Um. Okay . . . I—"

But he was already out of his chair and around the desk. I followed him outside. Aro saw us and his relatively relaxed posture became immediately more formal as we approached.

"Andy, this is—"

"You're with the Cullens?"

He'd cut me off without even looking at me.

"Yes, I'm an old friend of Carlisle's."

They were staring at each like they were waiting for the other person to throw a punch. Aro was keeping steady eye contact with him and looking alert but non-threatening.

"Looks like you're . . . keeping with local custom."

"When in Rome . . ."

"We'll know if you don't."

"I'm aware."

"Better be."

Then Andrew turned and went back inside without looking at either of us again. Aro's eyes flicked to me and then away. He swallowed but didn't say anything.

We didn't talk until we go to the little turnout where we'd leave the truck and then it was only to tell him what he needed to know to carry the second backpack properly. I went into the trees feeling unexpectedly angry. I hadn't wanted to know anything about him and his kind but it still felt embarrassing to be in the dark like that.

I stopped after twenty minutes to rest and drink, leaning against a tree. He stayed standing straight and didn't appeared fatigued even carrying that pack which was at least fifty pounds. I pointed to the canteen on his pack and told him he should drink. He detached it but didn't open it.

"You're not going to ask?"

"I don't want to know."

"That's very odd . . ."

"Look. Bella didn't want me to know and I assume there was a good reason for it so I'm just going to trust her decision not to tell me and leave it at that."

It was the first time I had admitted in any way that I knew that he was not only different but like my daughter had been before she vanished.

"That was wise of her. I will tell you though that the reason for her secrecy is no longer in effect . . ."

"I don't care. I'm not interested."

The slightly hurt look on his face made me feel like a middle school bully who'd just pushed the nerdy kid on the playground into a puddle so the other kids wouldn't know we were friends.

"I guess it's your choice."

He started past me into the trees and I called after him, capping my canteen and jogging to keep up. The trail was there but it was vague.

"Hey, whoa. Wait. You don't want to get lost."

He turned his head enough so that I could hear him and recited the coordinates of our destination. I stopped so fast I almost tripped. He kept going and within thirty seconds he'd left the trail and disappeared into the trees. I saw him leap on top of and then over a massive fallen tree that should have been too high to jump. I guessed now that I had acknowledged that I knew _something_ he didn't feel it was necessary to pretend to be human anymore. I kept going, feeling increasingly anxious. Even if he thought he knew exactly where we were going, it was incredibly easy to get lost and he'd claimed to never have been here before. A half hour later, tired of worrying, I moved on to being insanely pissed off. What kind of fucking asshole just runs off into the middle of a fucking rainforest alone? But the anxiety returned as I approached the gravel bar I was intending to camp at. He was so completely ignorant of how to behave in just about every situation we'd been in that it wasn't really fair to be angry.

I saw the second backpack first, sitting on the gravel near the edge of the clearing and stopped, backing up into the trees again so I could compose myself before looking for him. The amount of relief I felt at finding he'd made it safely was unnerving. I would have been legitimately concerned about any person I had brought out there getting lost but I wasn't just worried. I was upset. My sides hurt and it wasn't from walking. I felt a little bit like I had when Bella had ran off to Italy with—

_Alice Cullen_. I was absolutely sure in that eerie, unsettling way you sometimes knew things that they'd gone to see _him_ for whatever reason. That's when Edward had come back and they'd gotten fucking engaged. Something had happened there and it had led to Bella changing. Because if Edward had never come back . . .

I walked out into the clearing but I didn't see him right away. I turned in a circle and saw him standing by the water. I undid my pack and dropped it and went toward him. He had to have heard me because I was stomping across gravel but he didn't turn. I had never seriously contemplated murder before in my life until that moment but I had also never met anyone who brought up such extreme emotional reactions in me.

I shoved him and he didn't move at all. It was like pushing on a statue. Then like a reflex that takes a second to activate he stumbled forward a bit. He turned and I shoved him again. He fell back into the water. I knew he had to be letting me do it but I didn't care. It was satisfying anyway. I followed him and grabbed his shirt.

"Did you do it?"

"What?"

"Did you make Bella into whatever she is, whatever the fucking hell you are? I know they went to Italy. Did they see you there?"

"Yes. Yes, they did. But I didn't change her. Edward did that."

_"But he wouldn't have if they hadn't brought him back from fucking Italy with them, right!?"_

"No."

"Why did they come to see you?"

"I thought you didn't want to know."

"I don't! Fuck. _Fuck_ you. I just want to know where my daughter is!"

"I'm sorry."

He did look sorry and it only made me angrier. He was too easy to believe, to feel sympathetic towards. I let go, shoving him a little. He drifted back in the water a ways and I went back to shore, vaguely hoping he might just drown without my help so I could finally just forget about everything that had happened and go back to being a boring, normal person who lived in a tiny town in the woods where nothing ever happened and everyone else was just as boring and normal as me.

* * *

END NOTES: I know. Camping. Brokeback Mountain. But I couldn't just change who Charlie is to avoid that reference.

I had to split this trip up into two chapters so most of that ohemgee I promised is in the next chapter now. But this was fun, yeah? I enjoyed it anyway . . .

Arg! I wish you could all appreciate the true depth of the accuracy of my ForksFax but whatev. Just know they're awesome.


	4. Fragile

AN~Damn straight two in a day! What else is there to do on a Sunday but write gay _Twilight_ fanfiction anyway, amirite? And if I don't die in a plane crash tomorrow, there will be _several_ more by the end of the day. If I _do_ die, my husband has been instructed to post the drafts of the remaining chapters for you.

If you're reading MTYN, that's been a teensy bit abandoned in favor of this. I would say I'm sorry, but I am not. I love this story.

* * *

**4**

Most people got bored fairly quickly but we'd been sitting there for several hours and he hadn't complained at all. We hadn't caught anything but I wasn't trying very hard either, throwing lazy casts and actually ignoring several nibbles.

I had retreated into the woods for a few minutes after my outburst earlier and then come back and apologized. I had no evidence that he'd been involved in Bella's disappearance other than that he was the only one of his kind that seemed to be left now. He didn't talk about the Cullens like they were enemies and seemed to know them all very well. He said he was particularly fond of Bella even though they had only met a few times and his sincerity was compelling enough.

He'd been sitting on the bank of the river when I came back, about where he'd been standing before I attacked him only now his clothes and hair were drenched and he looked completely pathetic, filling me with unwelcome guilt. He was quiet as we set up camp and changed into dry clothes and only answered in short, hushed sentences when I spoke to him.

I was going to show him how to use a fishing pole but he said he wasn't interested just then and instead sat silently while I fished halfheartedly. I was way drunker than I should have been and usually was by this point in the day but since I didn't really feel like fishing anymore, there was no reason to stay sober. Sleeping off a good drunk seemed like a better way to spend the afternoon than trying to keep showing I was sorry for being an asshole without actually having to say it.

I set my pole against the empty cooler that was supposed to be filled with fresh steelhead and scooted down the side of the rock we were on so I could reach the rope I had let out into the water. It felt lighter than I'd expected when I lifted it and I saw that there was only one can left of the six pack I'd dropped in when we got there. I didn't remember drinking them all. I turned to squint back at my post and saw the empties lined up behind where I was sitting. The action of turning that way made me over correct when I turned back and I slipped face first into the water. It wasn't a long drop but it made an impressive noise anyway. The water was shallow and I stood easily although not entirely steadily.

I heard him above me, laughing hysterically. His pale little face appeared over the side of the rock a second later to look down at me. He looked completely elated.

"Feel better now?"

"Yes, thank you."

He was grinning and still chuckling. The tension had vanished. My relief at its departure made me realize that I actually did consider him my friend and not just a constant source of annoyance.

"Well, I didn't do it to amuse you, just so you know."

"I know. But it's still good."

He was just smiling then, not laughing anymore but his melancholy had also left and he looked normal. Happy. He took a breath like he was going to say something and I waited but he just shook his head and disappeared again.

It was overcast and the water was reflecting the clouds making the visibility of the bottom minimal but I knew this part of the river and even though I had never been in the water under this rock I had seen that there was a wide sandbar surrounding it before it the drop-off into the deep and even there the current was slow, swimmingable. I was still being careful though, keeping my fingers on the rock so I wouldn't accidentally drift away from it as I rounded the corner that would take me back to the bank.

The sun had been behind us and the water was dark on this side but was also more shallow, only up to my thighs. I could see the bank and I changed course to go straight toward it instead of following the rock since the way there was choked with cattails anyway. I took two steps and like the rock face had had some gravity which was keeping me in place by just my fingertips I was sucked down into an invisible undercurrent so fast I couldn't even yell. I heard him say my name though, the last thing I heard before my head went under and my mouth and nose filled with the muddy, fishy-tasting river water. I tried to surface but the water was too fast. I forced myself to go limp so I didn't waste energy for when I would need it once I got free of this current. I knew it would have to join with the wider, slower part of the river eventually and I could get back to the surface then. I counted and twenty-seven long seconds later I was pushed upwards into exactly what I'd expected: a lazy-looking stretch of river that didn't look very much different than where we'd been but I could have been miles downstream. I was facing upriver and I turned to see if there was a clear bank I could drift to easily and almost like the water was playing a joke on me, just as I turned the surface of the river became swift and grabby again only this time stronger, more insistent about its hold on me and ahead it had shifted into a mass of white as it shattered against rocks going into a violent stretch of rapids.

I was going to die. I even knew the name of this section of rocks and foam that was about to take my life but it wouldn't come to me. I had two thoughts just as I felt my body dip into the first hollow: One was that I had no family and Renee was the closest person to it who would have to now plan a funeral for me. Renee who didn't even know Bella was missing. Who'd never seen her adopted granddaughter. My other thought was that I hoped Aro didn't starve to death out here alone.

But I didn't disappear into the water. I was still in the water but I was just hanging there, looking down at the hungry vortex still pulling at my legs like it was angry at being cheated out of my life. There was a heavy object pinning me in place across my chest. I turned my head and saw a pale hand pushing against a large back rock sticking out of the river. His face was right next my ear, his other arm was what was holding me, keeping me in place against his chest. I felt us move backwards and even though he obviously wasn't being effected by the current I thought that he'd lost hold and we were both going to die. But we were moving steadily backwards, out of the fierce grip of the current into slower water, towards the shore. Then we were in the shallows my legs were touching gravel and we weren't moving anymore. His arm was still around me, supporting me against him.

"Are you injured?"

His voice was close, his breath so cold against my wet skin that I flinched. I shook my head. I wasn't sure if I was or not but I couldn't speak anyway. His hand moved from where it was cupping my ribcage to lay flat in the center of my chest. I felt my heart beating heavily against his palm.

"So fragile . . ."

His voice was thin and had the same touch of horror and denial I remembered from my own when I was told my mother had Alzheimer's and would slowly waste away, forgetting who she was and who my dad was and who I was and then die confused and alone in her head. I had never thought about her dying because I had never been the kind of person to dwell on death and it shattered me.

He didn't let go immediately and I didn't try to move. His frigid cheek brushed my temple and then he released me and I found myself sitting alone in the water. It was shallow enough that it didn't even cover my legs. I turned to the side and coughed water until my stomach hurt. I felt dizzy after.

"Just close your eyes, I'll take you back."

His voice was so soothing I would have believed anything he said just then. His presence was angelic in that moment.

A guardian angel.

My guardian angel.

* * *

He'd tried to talk me into leaving after that, he said I could still be in danger because there could be water in my lungs but even if I had agreed, I was too tired to make the hike. I felt fine otherwise and insisted I hadn't _inhaled_ any water, just swallowed it. After an hour and a half of him anxiously watching me as I built a fire and started to cook lunch I finally turned and half-shouted,"I'm not going to die, Aro! Stop looking at me like that. _I'm fine_."

"I know. I wouldn't let you die . . ."

He smiled but sounded sad still and drifted away toward the edge of the river again to stare at it instead of me.

Later he finally admitted that he didn't actually need to eat any of my food and although we were quiet for most of the rest of the day, it wasn't tense like before. It was more like the way we were at home. Existing alongside each other in separate but overlapping worlds.

I had thought about bringing a second tent but the one I had was large enough that doing so would have been obvious snubbing. I went to sleep first and told him to be careful once it got dark and if he added wood to the fire to let it die down again before he went to bed. He'd laughed and said he had "no intention of touching the fire."

I woke in the darkness to wolves howling. I wasn't afraid of wildlife in any form but I had never heard wolves out here before. I knew then that these weren't regular wolves. They were ones like Jacob and they were hanging around because of Aro. They were following us, circling my house while we slept and now here at our camp as well. I sat up and even though it was dark, I knew he wasn't in the tent. He was so pale that he was very visible even in the darkness.

He had to be outside. And he had to know those wolves were after him. What the fuck was he doing?

I unzipped the tent hastily and practically fell out onto the gravel. Everything was silent and exactly how I had left it before going to sleep. I was about to go back for a flashlight but saw that the moon was so bright by the water that I didn't need one. I could see the river and I could see him, sitting cross-legged on its bank, facing the water.

He turned as I got close and I saw how luminous his skin was in the eerie light of the moon. I felt afraid for a second, he really wasn't human, I knew he wasn't but the reality of it was more frightening in the darkness than the daylight.

"Hello, Charlie."

I sat next to him, misjudging the distance in the dark and sitting much closer than I would have intentionally. He was looking at the water again. It was calm here and each minute variation in its surface pulled little dots of light from the moon and reflected them in irregular, glittering patterns.

"You know I never understood your daughter's relationship with Edward . . ."

"You are not alone in your confusion there, buddy."

"Yes, although for different reasons, I'm sure. They were unusually close. My brother, Marcus, he was sort of a . . . well, he was very good at recognizing connections between people and he said their bond was notable."

"She seemed to be completely obsessed with him, that's for sure."

"Yes, and she put herself into a very dangerous situation in Italy in an attempt to protect him. It was so foolish that I think the rashness of the action probably saved her more than anything. Everyone involved was too flabbergasted to respond."

"Sounds like Bella."

He smiled and glanced at me for a second before looking back at the water again.

"She would have died."

"What? In Italy?"

"Yes, that too but I meant that she would have died if Edward hadn't changed her. He didn't want to but she would have died giving birth if he hadn't."

"What are you talking about 'giving birth.' Bella never—"

He didn't cut me off, his silence was enough to do that.

"Renesmee is your biological granddaughter. I think that you know that already though."

I did know. I'd just suppressed it. She looked too much like Bella to deny it. Too much like me.

"I believe that she is safe somewhere."

The implication of this sentence was clear. Renesmee's safety is assumed but no one else's. I didn't want to know more. I didn't want confirmation of their deaths. This was enough for now.

"I wish that I could give you more."

He was looking at me with a sort of thinly veiled desperation and he seemed a lot closer than he had a minute before. His hand came up and hovered near my cheek but he didn't touch me.

"That river took you away so fast. Almost too fast for me to catch you. I thought I would see you as soon as I was in the water but you had just disappeared. That's never happened to me. I've never lost track of something like that. When I did see you, you were already so close to those rocks I almost didn't . . . get to you in time."

His fingertips landed on my skin. They were cold but I was too freaked out to react. He was too close. His face was a foot from mine.

"Are you afraid of dying, Charlie?"

I shook my head barely and it made his fingers brush my cheek. I had suspected he was gay whether or not he'd claimed to be married before and I was sure he knew _I _wasn't. But I also knew you didn't get as close to anyone as he was to me unless you were planning on kissing them and I didn't know why I hadn't backed away already.

"I'm afraid of you dying . . ."

He was close enough for me to feel his breath on my skin. I had my eyes closed. I wanted to tell him to stop, that I wasn't ready for this, I'd known it was coming but I couldn't face it yet. He sighed and his nearness vanished. When I opened my eyes, he was already halfway across camp going back toward the tent. It took ten minutes before I could stand and walk back. He was laying down with his eyes closed but I could tell he wasn't sleeping.

I don't know how long it took me to sleep or if I even slept at all before I opened my eyes and found him right next to me, as close as we could have been without actually touching. I could tell by where the seam in the tent was above me that I had moved more than he had. He was on his side facing me. He didn't open his eyes but reached out like he knew exactly where I was anyway. He touched my arm, letting his fingers trail over my skin and down the inside of my wrist and then slipped his fingers between mine. They fit perfectly. His hands were so smooth and slender that the sensation wasn't completely different than a woman's hand. Except that he was cold and despite his delicacy, obviously male. My fingers closed around his reflexively. And that was all. He didn't move closer or try to touch me anywhere else. My heart was beating so erratically I was sure I wouldn't be able to sleep but I must have because I woke up alone to thin, grey daylight coming in a small slit in the opening of the tent.

He didn't appear until after I had already eaten breakfast and packed up most of the camp. I had planned to stay most of that day to fish more but now I just needed to leave immediately. He didn't attempt to confront me about it and just docilely followed my lead as I gathered the rest of the things into the packs.

He could have taken off like he did the first time but he didn't. He walked silently behind me all the way back. Andrew wasn't in the visitor's center when I checked out and we made it back to Forks without incident. I saw him glancing at me but he didn't try to talk. His face went from neutral to visibly disappointed though when I passed the turn for my house and kept driving towards the turn off for the Cullens. He was staring at his hands when we stopped in their driveway.

"I assume you don't need electricity if you don't need food."

I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't angry. I didn't have words for the emotions I was experiencing I just knew I needed to get away from him now before something else happened. He didn't respond. Apparently his manners didn't extend as far as being polite to a person who was treating him like I was. He got out and disappeared into the house quicker than I could track. I sat there for a minute feeling awful and mean. I should have just been honest, told him I wasn't interested. I tried to think of what I might have done that had led him to think I was but I didn't know. I didn't know how that worked with guys.

Sue called after I got back. She offered to come over and cook to make up for missing the trip. She didn't ask about him when she got there and I knew it was because she already knew he was gone before she got there.

She dropped a bag of groceries on the kitchen counter and turned to me, smiling. I hadn't even really greeted her when she came in and I didn't then either. I kissed her, pushing her back into the refrigerator. She laughed, kissing me back and responded willingly to my advances as I undressed her quickly and pushed her down to the floor. It felt good to be with her. Her soft warmth. Her smell and familiarity. And her comforting, feminine,_ human_ body. I was being a lot rougher with her than usual but she didn't complain. She pushed back against my thrusts and I was already coming when I realized my hands were pressed flat against the cool, solid surface of the floor, its chill sent an extra, electrifying sensation up my arms and over my skin and I saw his face as I finished, so close to mine, with the moonlight echoing off his skin and the cool pressure of his hand against my cheek.

* * *

END NOTES: Don't hurt Charlie! He's just a very confused straight man who got a little bit physical with a very girly dude and he can't handle it yet.

But, uh, hand-holding, yeah? I _love_ cutesy crap like that so hopefully that was good enough for you for now.

As with _Say My Name _and Edward, my husband read this and said, "Poor Sue. I don't know why I always feel bad for the cuckold." He's a total EdwardSue that's why. Poor husband.


	5. He's Foreign

_AN~ I'll have you know I wrote a portion of this chapter while wearing a (clean) Pampers pull-up on my head because my 2-year-old thinks it's hilarious._

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**5**

I concentrated on actively suppressing the memory of what had happened that night. His things had disappeared from Bella's room a few days after we got back. He called me twice that week. The first time he left half a message. He was tripping over his words and his usual easy eloquence was gone. It was difficult to listen to.

_Charlie, hi. I, uh, I think we need to—I mean,_ I_ should . . . um, I'm sorry. I thought that . . . I'm so sorry—_

I listened to it six times, like I was a government decoder, trying to find a concealed message in the mess of his words, then I deleted it and stared at the glowing one left behind on the display. The other message was Renesmee wishing me a happy birthday. I let it play and then deleted it too. A glowing zero. Me alone, with no more reminders of any of them to torment me without my consent.  
Weeks passed and I was just beginning to breathe normally again when the weekend of that awful Summer Fundraiser at the high school arrived. They did it every year and while I used to be able to dodge it pretty easily, there was a scholarship program connected to the Quileute Tribal School this year and Sue had been helping plan it for weeks making it impossible to avoid this time.

The school gym obviously wasn't big enough to house the whole town at one time but since it went on all day, everyone passed through at some point. A lot of people greeted me like I'd just come back from a year long trip to the moon and I realized I hadn't actually spent much time with anyone but Sue and Aro since coming back from Fraser River after Christmas.

He was already there when I arrived and I couldn't just pretend he wasn't there because he was impossible not to spot in the crowd of dull, average-looking humans filling the room. He was drifting around trying, I think, to blend in and failing magnificently. Everyone he passed stared at him. He just smiled nicely and stayed on the edges out of the way. He spoke to a few people who seemed to know him but mostly stood alone near the back. He looked deflated and somehow paler than before.

I never caught him looking at me but I knew that didn't mean he hadn't been. He was faster than me, if he didn't want me to know he was looking, I wouldn't be able to catch him doing it. Seeing him felt worse than I thought it would. And seeing him looking unhappy actually hurt a little bit. For the majority of the time I had known him he was irrepressibly exuberant and even when he wasn't talking there was an aura of quiet joy around him.

And I had crushed it. It made me feel monstrous and I tried to force myself not to look at him again and tried to believe it wasn't my fault but it had the metallic taste of a lie.

Jan Holton was running the least silent auction ever over a PA system that was turned up well past where it needed to be for a woman who hardly needed amplification at all with how loudly she talked anyway.

I went outside to escape the noise before my eardrums collapsed. Sully's had set up a tent and was selling burgers in the parking lot. There was a loose tangle of people gathered there and I joined them. They greeted me the same way everyone else had been and I was handed a plate without asking.

I had gone to high school with several of the guys and even though I didn't particularly like most of them, you just learned to tolerate people in a place like this.

"Yo, Charlie."

Aaron Reamer slapped my back hard enough to sting and I reminded myself I was the one that would have to arrest me if I killed him to stop myself from drowning him in the ice chest full of soda behind us. He was maybe the most obnoxious person I had ever met.

"Hey, Aaron," I said flatly, looking around at the other people standing there hoping someone else would start a conversation and I could avoid actually having to talk to him.

"Where ya been?"

"Here."

"We never see you, man."

"Well you haven't been arrested lately, that's usually a good thing."

He laughed, spitting potato chip crumbs at me. I backed up a step. Aaron had always been a pig but his complete lack of manners was suddenly magnified set alongside Aro's impeccable ones that I was now used to. He was so neat all the time and I had stopped really noticing it after awhile. Until now.

"Try to keep your food in your mouth there, buddy."

"Oh, sorry, princess. Didn't know I was in the presence of royalty. What are you so uptight for suddenly?"

"Keeping your mouth closed while you chew is about the lowest basic requirement for being a civilized human being, Aaron."

He scoffed, looking at me like I had peed on his leg. Then he went back to eating and I thought I could maybe step out of this almost conversation and escape to a less irritating one but he wasn't done being terrible yet.

"Hey, Chief, who's the freak?"

He pointed with the elbow of the arm he was using to support his plate and I saw that Aro had come outside as well and was standing awkwardly by the side of the building looking like he was at a middle school dance.

Shit.

"Oh, that's Aro. He's staying at the Cullens while they're away."

"So you know him?"

"Uh . . . yeah, kind of my job to know who's around."

"I knew Cullen was a fag."

"What?"

"Dude, come on. Look at him."

I glanced at him reluctantly. I knew he would see us looking. There was no defense against this crude accusation, even in a place where he was so out-of-place, Aro looked impossibly refined and self-possessed. So basically, exactly like "a fag" to guys like Aaron.

"He's foreign, Aaron. Just because they're not as disgusting as us, doesn't make them automatically gay."

He raised his eyebrows and then lowered them down into a heavy squint.

"Excuse the fuck out of me. Why do you care?"

"Because we're a tiny town whose economy relies on tourism and it's generally considered a bad idea to alienate your source of income. He's a perfectly nice guy who doesn't need to be harassed by backwoods assholes."

"Whoa, didn't mean to insult your new boyfriend. Maybe you need to go so you guys aren't late for tea time."

"That's mature of you," I said, but fear also crept in a little also. I hadn't even been close to him since we'd been here but someone as stupid as Aaron had still managed to connect us and speculate on the nature of our relationship. "I don't even really know him so I don't know how he could be my boyfriend. He's just some weird friend of Carlisle's."

Guilt clamped down on me as quickly and painfully as if I had stepped into a bear trap. It would have been better if I had joined in calling him a queer and laughed. Denying my friendship with him altogether was unforgivably cold and I knew it. He was looking down now, staring fixedly into the grass at the edge of the soccer field. He no longer looked awkward. He looked like he'd been punched in the stomach. I knew absolutely that he'd heard me. I had guessed at some of his other abilities beyond speed and strength before and I knew he seemed to hear further than he should have been able to but we were really far and there was a lot of noise so I didn't even think about it.

"Well he looks like he'd like to 'know' you. Are you sure he doesn't think you're 'foreign' too?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"He's been checking you out every time your back is turned all day."

"Sounds like you're the one who's been spending too much time checking out another guy today, Aaron. I gotta piss."

I dropped my plate on top of his and headed back to the school. Aro had walked off around the side of the building. I couldn't follow him directly so I went into the hall and headed towards the front doors, past the rows of lockers and empty classrooms. If he wasn't walking very fast, I could catch him before he left the grounds. Halfway there I started running. An unexpected desperation enveloped me but I forced myself to stop once I was outside again. It was starting to rain a little and I went down the short set of steps to the school and out into the street. He was gone. I looked both ways and didn't see him. I walked quickly down the street so I could see between the buildings leading back to the highway and saw him standing on the corner, waiting for a break in the traffic. I didn't know why he was pretending to walk, he didn't need to.

I called to him, not loudly because I was pretty sure he'd hear me. He turned his head but didn't turn around. I walked quickly toward him hoping the traffic would trap him in place. He had his eyes closed and was standing very still when I reached him.

"Hey, uh, what's up?"

"I didn't feel well. I decided to go home."

"Look, Aaron's just an asshole, you can't reason with people like him. You have to-"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I know you heard me."

He looked down.

"Yes, I heard you."

"I shouldn't have said that."

"It's not you saying it that matters. It only matters if you meant it."

"Well, I obviously know you—"

"But I'm still 'just some weird friend of Carlisle's' . . ."

Even though I knew he'd heard it and he'd admitting to hearing it, it was still deeply unsettling to hear my words echoed back to me by a person who was a hundred yards away when I'd said them. I couldn't speak. I couldn't defend myself against this.

"I thought maybe I'd found a new home here. I see now that that was misguided."

"So you're going to leave because I'm an idiot?"

"No. I'm going to leave because I should. I shouldn't have stayed here at all. It was foolish."

"Where are you going to go?"

"Home. Time to go back and see what's left . . ."

I couldn't literally beg him on a street corner not to leave and I didn't know what I could say even if I was going to.

"Are you going to leave right away?"

"I don't know. I don't know how long it will take to figure out how to get back to back to where I was before."

I wanted him to look at me but I couldn't ask.

"I didn't mean it," I said finally.

He turned when I said this but not toward me, he spun and started down the side of the building back where we'd come from and swerved then into a narrow alley between the back of the pharmacy and a row of shops facing the school. I followed him and I had barely turned the corner when he grabbed me and yanked me into the narrow space after him. I knew he was strong but I had never experienced it physically except when he'd used it to save my life and now I was fully aware of how effortlessly he could crush me to death if he wanted to. He pinned me against the wall. His breathing was uneven and fast like he'd been running. It was raining hard now and his hair was hanging wetly around his face and shoulders. He was holding onto the front of my shirt, he looked a little crazed, far less in control than I had ever seen him.

"I'm sorr—"

He kissed me, smothering the rest of my apology between us. I didn't have to think about if I should kiss him back because I was already doing it. I knew he would have been cold even if we hadn't been standing in the rain but the reality of his strange skin was still startling. I had no sort of expectation about what kissing another man would be like because I had never imagined it. I was pretty certain though that kissing him wasn't like kissing any other man would be though. His lips were hard but like sanded stone that was somehow pliable. His mouth tasted sweet and cool and I leaned forward, renewing the kiss when he started to pull back. He responded eagerly, pressing me into the wall again.

And I finally understood Bella's relationship with Edward. I understood why she'd acted the way she did. Edward and Aro were the same creature. Maybe they were just beautiful, irresistible demons that were sent to seduce humans into becoming like them the way she had. I couldn't understand why I would feel attracted to him like this suddenly when I had never felt this way toward another male before. I wasn't afraid of being gay despite how I had reacted to Aaron's taunting. If I was gay I thought I would be able to accept it. It wasn't that. It was just him. I was drawn to him incomprehensibly. I wanted him but I didn't know what I wanted from him. I only had a vague notion about what men did together and I didn't think I was prepared for anything like that.

I was confused about basically everything that was happening except for two things: I didn't know if the attraction was necessarily sexual, but it was definitely romantic and this was the most exciting kiss of my life. I felt it all over my skin, I was warm even though the rain had soaked through my clothes.

He pulled away finally, holding my face between his hands so he could look at me then he placed his forehead against mine and said, "You don't love her, you know. You love me."

His hands left my face and the pressure of his body against mine disappeared. When I opened my eyes he was gone and I was standing alone, completely drenched in an alley suddenly aware that anyone could have seen us easily. The alley was open on both ends but I was less worried about that than I was about the fact that was almost painfully aroused. I had to wait until I could relax and my erection faded before I could walk home. I cut through the woods so I wouldn't be seen walking on the highway like this and exited the trees into my backyard feeling dizzy and terrified.

And wonderful.

I went inside and found Sue standing on my kitchen.

"Um, hey . . ."

"Did you decide to go for a swim?" She said, looking over my wet clothes and hair.

"Just got caught in the storm coming back from the fundraiser."

"Ah." She has looked amused at first but then the oddness of the fact that I hadn't just gone inside to wait out the shower or gotten a ride had to be creeping in and she made a small humming noise and looked away.

The terrifying possibility that she somehow knew, that someone had seen us and told her, told everyone and that's why she was here completely obliterated every other thought for a moment until I realized she was talking.

"Huh? Sorry, wasn't listening. What was that?"

"Nothing. Go change, I can't stay for long but we're heading out on our trip tomorrow and I wanted to see you before then."

"Oh, right. To the uh, mountain."

The Clearwaters and some of the other Quileute families had a week-long camping trip every spring that involved hiking into the middle of nowhere and, I was pretty sure, drinking some kind of freaky homemade hallucinogenic tea. Or they were just smoking weed and their "spirit trek" they'd tricked me into believing because I'm a dumb white guy was them growing a field of marijuana under my radar.

"Yes. The mountain. Go."

I did go upstairs but I didn't go straight to my room. I paused in front of Bella's open door. He was the last person to sleep there. He'd made the bed carefully when he left and everything in the room was spotless, probably cleaner than when he'd gone in. It was so like him to clean a fucking guest room he was staying in before leaving and I laughed a little picturing him doing it with that dreamy little smile of his as he tapped books back in place on shelves and straightened the few boxes still sitting half-packed along the walls.

I felt that odd squeezing sensation in my chest that I'd experienced a few times when we first met and now recognized it as the way you feel when you have a crush. More than a crush. I hadn't felt like this since I met Renee.

Then pain when I realized how impossible this situation was now. I couldn't be with him. Even without the added complication of ending my relationship with Sue, having one with him was ludicrous. The chief of police in a town as minuscule as Forks couldn't have a boyfriend. Even having a best friend as odd as he was was eyebrow-raising. Maybe the rest of the world had moved on in terms of accepting gay people but in small towns in America it was still decades in the past. Maybe there weren't outright hate crimes but the word "faggot" wouldn't hesitate to pass secretly from the lips of townsfolk if they knew what had just happened and it was hardly anything. And not just people like Aaron. Nice people who were just a little behind.

I didn't care about being called names but I needed my job and my job was an elected position. I couldn't sacrifice my whole life for something so uncertain.

It hurt more than it seemed like it should. Nothing had even begun between us it wasn't like something was ending. Still it felt like a piece had been removed from me leaving a rough, dark hole behind.

I changed and went back downstairs. Sue smiled at me and slipped her arms around my waist. I tensed, new guilt washing over me. She tilted her face upwards but I hesitated kissing her, I could still taste the subtle, honeyed interior his mouth on the tip of my tongue. I gave her a quick closed-lipped peck.

After she left I did something I didn't do often which was to get suicidally intoxicated. I was mostly a beer drinker but hard alcohol is what you drank for wounds like this. I didn't turn on any lights and the house grew dark around me as I drank. Halfway through my second glass, I was able to focus on the melting amber taste of the whiskey in my mouth and block out the memory of the way _his_ mouth tasted and by the time I had emptied the bottle to the point that its body had lost the satisfying heaviness of its once expensive contents, I stopped and felt numb enough that his face and touch had receded adequately. I went to bed and fell into the sleep of an unpracticed drinker who had unwisely drank alcoholically. I would feel sick in the morning. I would likely spend part of the next day vomiting but even that would be better than thinking about him and the cruel impossibility of a life with him in it as more than my friend.

* * *

END NOTES:

I just really like making people kiss during rainstorms, I guess. Don't judge me.

Oh, how I _love_ writing Aro. Because he's allowed to do ridiculous things like inform other people that they're in love with him.

Making Charlie delete that Renesmee message hurt me in the feels real bad.

And Chief of Police is _not_ an elected position in real life, just in my story because I needed it to be that way. So, pretend.

That fundraiser thing was actually going on during my last Forks trip and they were broadcasting that auction over the radio _**LOUDLY** _in_ every store in town._ NO.

Oh, oh! Did anyone get the "I didn't mean it" reference? It was unintentional but I fought to keep it after I realized. *fangirling*


	6. He's Special

_AN~If you'd like to see a semi-scandalous illustration of Aro that goes with this story, you can visit my deviantART page. Same username._**  
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**6**

I didn't hear from him and I didn't try to call him. I thought I would feel better after a few days but the pain didn't lessen any. It changed shape from sharp stabs to a dull, heavy ache and then at night to a cage of barbed wire that made it impossible to move around my house or do any sort of normal activity. I knew that eventually it would go away, all wounds, even festering ones eventually close and scar and stop hurting. Or the infection killed you. I didn't have a choice but to wait and hope it would be the first one.

Early in my career I was required to see a psychologist after having to draw my service weapon on the job. I'd thought it was silly and a waste of my time but Renee informed me that I was having nightmares that woke her up and insisted on the maximum number of sessions. I went but I didn't like it and I was relieved when they were over and since my nightmares seemed to taper off at the same rate, I wasn't coaxed into continuing.

I didn't like talking about things and luckily had had the kind of life where I didn't need to. I had never considered going back before and now, sixteen years later, the idea still sounded about as appealing as eating hair. But I needed to talk to someone and no private citizen of this town would do. I needed someone legally bound not to gossip.

Going back to the same police psychologist wasn't going to work because this person absolutely couldn't have any connection to area law enforcement. Either way, it meant going to Port Angeles which was good since I didn't want anyone seeing my truck. Theoretically, I could have taken Bella's truck but the thought of even going near it was still so painful it wasn't even an option.

I chose the only female psychiatrist in Port Angeles. I wanted a psychiatrist over a therapist because they're medical doctors and I just trusted their credentials more. I was luckily able to schedule a weekend appointment after I reluctantly informed her of my name. I chose a woman because I thought she might be less judgmental and it might be less mortifying explaining this situation to a woman than a man.

She agreed to see me on a Sunday afternoon and the remainder of the week felt a little like living inside of an impressionist painting. Everything was sort of smeary and indistinct and I blamed it on not sleeping well which was kind of true. I often woke up in the middle of the night and for the few seconds before I was really awake I thought I felt his cool touch on my cheek and smelled him for an instant and then it was gone and my room was empty of course.

The psychiatrist's name was Melany Greenstick and she was ten years younger than me. I was immediately grateful that I was not attracted to her because it kept her at the professional distance I needed her to be at. But she was kind-looking and I felt far more relaxed than I thought I would when I took a seat in her office. She had a set up of two chairs, facing each other across a low table. There wasn't a flower arrangement on it which made me feel better because it made me think she wasn't frivolous. There was an ornament but it looked like some odd artifact from another country and had a lot of textures on it that looked like mismatched fabric patterns and gave me something to stare at.

"You're welcome to call me Melany if you like. I don't like to be too formal with patients as the nature of my work involves discussing delicate issues. Is there anything you'd prefer that I call you?"

"Charlie is fine."

"Okay. Well, you were a little vague on the phone. Which I will reassure you by saying isn't uncommon so don't feel uncomfortable. It's easier to say things in a safer space like this than the place you may have been calling from. So you mentioned depression. Have you ever felt depressed at any other time in your life?"

"Well, I wasn't very happy after my wife left me and took my daughter with her but that's probably pretty normal."

"Yes, very. At any other time?"

"Nope. I'm a cheery guy," I said flatly.

"Any history of mental illness in your family including children?"

"No."

"No depression?"

"Well, my daughter was pretty bad off for a few months but it was because of this boy who left her."

"And did she recover fully from that?"

"Yeah, she was fine as soon as he came back."

"So she resumed her relationship with him at that point?"

"Yes, she married him."

"You don't like him."

"I don't like anyone who makes my daughter cry."

"And how is your daughter's relationship with her husband from an objective standpoint?"

"It's fine, I guess. He's a good father. Look, I don't really want to talk about Edward. It makes me want to break something and since everything in here belongs to you, it might be a good idea to change the subject."

"Of course. Well can you tell me why you're here then?"

"Yeah, um, I don't feel well but I don't know if 'depression' is the right word because I know why I feel this way I just don't know what to do about it."

"Okay. Do you want to tell me what's happening then?"

"Well, my daughter's been missing for a few months."

"The married daughter?"

"I only have one. Bella."

"I know you said you didn't want to discuss her husband but how is he dealing with this? Are you in contact with him?"

"No, he's missing as well. Her and her husband and their daughter and the husband's entire family."

"That's a lot of people. Is there a criminal investigation surrounding their disappearance?"

"No, there's no investigation. I'm fairly certain that wherever she is—they are—she's safe enough." Can't get safer than dead. No. Not now. "I miss her though. And my granddaughter. Bella and me spent most of her childhood apart so being away from her is less strange but I spent a lot of time with Nessie since she was a baby so that's been really difficult."

"How old is your granddaughter?"

"She's . . . two. Anyway," I tried to breathe in so I could get to the point but it suddenly seemed nearly impossible to talk. "That's actually not really why I'm here. There's something else."

"Okay, go ahead. Is it all right if I take some notes while we talk?"

"Um, yeah, sure. Whatever it is you do."

"Whenever you're ready."

"Well, I've been seeing this woman, Sue, for about a year. She's the widow of a friend of mine actually. Nothing was going on before Harry died, it all sort of happened after."

"You don't need to feel defensive. There's no judgment here."

"Okay. Well, I recently met . . . someone else. And um, something happened with them and I don't know what to do about it."

"What is her name?"

"Aro."

"That's an interesting name. How did you meet Aro?"

I had been debating on the hour drive from Forks if I could get away with pretending Aro was a woman. But that wouldn't really outline the complicated nature of my problem and by the time I had parked outside her office I decided it would be a waste of my time to lie and I would just say what I needed to say to get whatever help I could.

"He's house sitting at the home of Bella's in-laws."

"Aro is a man."

"Yes."

"Have you had other relationships with men before now?"

"No. Never. I've never even thought about it. It's just him and I don't even know really what it is I'm experiencing anyway."

"Is the fact that Aro is a man the reason why you're here?"

"Mostly, yes."

"Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"He kissed me."

"Were you expecting it?"

"Sort of. Not when it happened but before."

She was writing fluidly by this point definitely more than the few details I'd given.

"Were you receptive to this kiss?"

"I didn't push him away . . . I guess I kissed him back."

"Did you talk about it?"

"No. He left right after."

"Is Aro gay?"

"He had a wife but she died and I don't really know."

"Has anything else happened besides this kiss."

"We uh, held hands one time. We were camping and it was the middle of the night. I'm not even sure that happened actually because I was asleep and then I woke up and that's when it happened . . ."

"Do you think that you're gay?"

"No."

"Are you afraid you might me?"

"No."

"Is your attraction to Aro sexual or just emotional?"

"I'm not sure."

"How did you feel while you were kissing him?"

"Um, good. It was pleasant."

"Did you become aroused at any point during this encounter?"

I shifted in my chair and focused on the centerpiece instead of her.

"Yes. Well, I noticed it afterwards."

"What are you interactions with him like normally?"

"Well he kind of drives me nuts to be honest but in a . . . nice way. I think I like being annoyed by him as little sense as that makes."

She smiled and said it wasn't as odd as I might have been thinking.

"Do you have things in common?"

"Not really. He's sort of artsy. He reads a lot. He's . . . cultured. I'm basically the opposite of that."

"But personality wise, how are things?"

"They're good. He makes me laugh. I just . . . feel better when he's around . . . like s-safer."

"A sense of security is good. That's important in a relationship."

"It isn't a relationship."

"Would you like it to be?"

"I'm already with someone, who I've now cheated on."

"How do you feel toward your girlfriend?"

"I like her. She's fun to be with and we like doing a lot of the same things. It works."

"But you're not in love with her?"

"I don't know. He said I wasn't."

"Aro said you weren't in love with your girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"When did he say this to you?"

"After he kissed me."

"What were his exact words."

"He said, 'You don't love her. You love me.'"

"Do you think he's right?"

"About which part?"

"Either."

"He may be right about Sue. I care about her. But I'm not really 'giddy' about her I guess."

"That doesn't necessarily mean anything though. Do you feel 'giddy' about Aro?"

"Sort of. I feel kind of stupid when he's around and when he's not around I feel . . . less happy. I miss him, I guess."

"Do you miss Sue when she isn't around?"

"Well, we're friends so, yeah, I miss being around her."

"But not the same way."

"Not exactly. I haven't talked to him at all since that day we kissed and it feels pretty awful."

"Do you think you'd like a relationship with him?"

"I can't have a relationship with him."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm an elected official in a small town."

"It's 2007, Charlie."

"I know it's just, I'm not gay, and if I came out as having a relationship with a man, that's what everything would think."

"Do you think being gay is wrong?"

"No."

"But you don't want people thinking you're gay."

"Yes, but not because I hate gay people. It's just misleading. They'll think all the relationships I had before were a cover and I think that would feel embarrassing for Renee—that's Bella's mom—and Sue. They might feel used."

"I think people accept bisexuality as much as they do homosexuality. We're only a few hours from Seattle here . . ."

"Geographically. In terms of accepting gay people, we're still pretty far behind. And I don't think I'm bisexual either. I'm not attracted to men, I'm attracted to him. He's different."

"He's special."

"Yeah."

"Is there any other reason you feel you couldn't have a relationship other than your public image?"

"It seems like it wouldn't be fair to him since I don't know if I could offer him anything more . . . physical."

"There are probably more asexual relationships than you'd think which are perfectly functional."

"It seems like both people would have to be interested in that though."

"And you think he would expect more?"

"I think most people would."

"And you don't think you'd be interested in exploring a physical relationship with him?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. But I never thought I would be kissing him either so."

"And you enjoyed kissing him."

"Yes."

"And you did experience a sexual response with him during that."

"Yeah."

"It seems like the only thing that would be unfair is deciding not to explore that aspect of your relationship."

"A relationship we can't have."

"No one can tell you how to live. Or how he should live. Your relationship isn't the town's business. You don't need to announce it. Your private life is your own."

"I wouldn't want him to feel like I was ashamed of him."

"Are you?"

"No. But he's odd-looking so he's an easy target. I feel protective. I don't want him being harassed. He's pretty sensitive, like, emotionally."

"Odd-looking?"

"Yeah, he's really pale and he has long hair and he's not from here. He's from Italy so he has a strange accent. He's just different."

"He has long hair? Do you associate the way he looks with women?"

"Um, like do I think he looks like a girl?"

"Yes."

"No, not really. I mean, he's not super masculine but he's not a girl. He definitely looks like a guy. But he's a little froofy, I guess."

"What is it about him that you think you're attracted to? His personality or are you drawn to him physically as well?"

"Both."

"What is it that you find attractive about him physically?"

"I don't really know how to answer that because I don't know what words to use. You can say girls are pretty or beautiful but I don't think that kind of language applies to guys."

"Adjectives do not have gender assignments in English as far as I am aware. Would you call him pretty? Or handsome?"

"Not handsome. That sounds weird and too rugged or something."

"So is pretty more accurate then?"

"Well he's not pretty like a girl is pretty much his face is more um, delicate, I guess so closer to pretty, yeah. He's nice-looking. He has a . . . nice smile."

"When you think about him, the possibility of being with him, what do you see?"

"I don't know exactly what you mean."

"Do you just spend time together? Are you sleeping in the same bed? Kissing?"

"All of that."

"Anything else?"

"Like what?"

"Have you tried to imagine being in a sexual situation with him?"

"Well, I'm going to sound really stupid right now, but I'm not really sure what they do. I mean guys who are together."

"Well, I assume you understand at least the vague concept of penetration but that isn't a necessity for everyone. Aside from that it wouldn't be very much different than with a woman."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure oral sex is going to involve some things I'm not familiar with."

"Does the concept bother you?"

"I really don't know. I have honestly never thought about doing that."

"Well, I would like you to. As homework, I would like you to go home and try to picture yourself doing whatever it is you can clearly picture doing with him. Go through it like it would happen in real life. If you would drink a little beforehand, drink in the fantasy but not in real life, you should be sober for this activity. Go through the encounter in your head to whatever point feels comfortable, talking, kissing, undressing. Don't skip anything, keep going until you encounter something you're not okay with and then if you can't picture anything you would be more comfortable with, stop there. You don't have to give me any explicit details but I'd like if you could discuss where you stopped and why you think you weren't comfortable as that would be a useful place for us to continue next time."

"I have homework?"

"It's not uncommon."

"So you want me to come back?"

"I would advise you to do so if you're interested in a having a satisfying conclusion to this issue."

"I kind of thought I would only come here once."

"Our minds are a little more complex unfortunately."

"And you want me to fantasize as homework?"

"Yes. And it's more of an exercise. If we were in a bigger city, I would probably refer you to a qualified sex and relationship therapist but fortunately for you, I did a fellowship in sexual psychology at a university hospital in Portland and have enough experience with it to assist you to some degree. Your situation isn't maybe as complicated as it feels to you. If you had come to me with any sort of deeper sexual psychosis, I would probably refer you on to Seattle anyway but what you have isn't a sexual problem, it's a human problem. If you're uncomfortable with this activity, you can tell me so but I assure you it's not an indecent request and I think it will help you sort out some of your distress as your concern with being with him seems to mainly center around whether or not you're capable of a sexual relationship."

"Okay. What if I can't do it?"

"That's fine, you're not being graded. But you already know that you're capable of kissing and even laying down together so if you get to that point in your visualization and that's where you stop, that's fine and it'll give us something to work with."

"When do you want me to come back?"

"That's up to you. But I generally schedule the few talk therapy patients I keep every two weeks."

"That's a . . . big gap."

"Yes, well, all of those patients are in long-term treatment for chronic mental illnesses. With no history of mental illness, what you have is an acute problem and I could see you more frequently as I expect this will resolve rather quickly."

"Okay, thanks. That would be good."

"Is Tuesday too soon for you?"

"No, that's okay but it would have to be later because I have to drive up from Forks after work."

"Of course. Is six-thirty all right?"

"Yeah."

As soon as the appointment time was decided on, I was immediately plunged into a mild state of panic that I had such a close deadline on my bizarre homework.

My house looked so abandoned and empty when I got back to Forks that I didn't really want to go inside of it and even though I hadn't figured out in any way how I was feeling still, I had to stop myself from putting the car back into gear and driving straight to his house and just letting whatever happened happen.

Instead I went inside and straight to my room. I didn't know when I was going to do her assignment. Tomorrow seemed like the right option. Mostly because she'd told me not to drink and I really felt like I needed to drink right then. But I had been drinking far too much lately and decided no matter what I did, it would be a good idea to lay off of that for a few days. Instead I took a shower after changing which I rarely did at night. I didn't necessarily feel calmer when I was done but I felt less apprehensive about the coming days.

I put on pajamas instead of regular clothes and went downstairs. There were no messages on the answering machine. I didn't really expect there to be. Sue was busy and I figured he wouldn't call again. I wasn't even sure if he was still in town. He could have left already and all of my angst was a waste of energy. I shook that off because it was too painful to think about. If he left I would absolutely never see him again. I had no way to contact him. But I knew I couldn't very well call him now and say, "Hey, just making sure you're still around in case I decide I want a relationship with you but I'd rather not talk to you until then. Just letting you know, bye."

I went to bed early and lay in the dark for a long time. I tried to start on the assignment but I didn't know where to start and ended up just thinking about him sleeping next to me in the dark. I put my hand on top of the covers where it was cold and I could almost imagine his cool skin under my fingertips.

I dreamed about him but I couldn't recall anything clearly after I woke up. Just a vague sense of him being in danger. I wasn't sure what could possibly harm him but it scared me enough that I came very close to getting out of bed not just to call but to drive to his house and make sure he was definitely in one piece. I was able to calm myself enough after a few minutes to go back to sleep and the feeling of immediate peril had receded a little when I woke up again in the morning.

I felt jumpy at work and by three o' clock I couldn't stay in the office anymore. Nothing was likely to happen anyway and I had spent all morning focusing on paperwork as intensely as possible to avoid thinking about Aro and my next appointment with Melany and what it entailed.

I wanted to have a drink when I got home but I knew I needed to do my assignment that night and I wasn't sure what the time frame for not drinking beforehand was. I didn't remember until almost four thirty that Sue was coming over for dinner. She didn't usually leave La Push on the weekends because Seth and Leah were out of school. I hadn't seen either of them since just before Bella and the Cullens had disappeared and she didn't bring them up often.

She arrived at a quarter to five with take out from Sully's. She seemed a little preoccupied herself and didn't talk much. We watched TV while we ate. I knew I should ask her if anything was going on but for a guy who doesn't talk about his feelings I had been doing way too damned much of that lately and more was to come. Sue wasn't a touchy-feely type so I wasn't too concerned that she was having a nervous breakdown or anything. I almost asked her to stay over because I knew as soon as she left, the real countdown would begin on my "activity" and every possible outcome was terrifying.

I could discover I couldn't think of him beyond what we'd already done which would probably mean just letting him go. Or I could discover that I could think of him that way and I would have to decide if I should take the most insane chance ever by breaking up with my totally acceptable long-time girlfriend and jumping into a relationship with him. Maybe we could just run away to Italy together. I snorted laughter at that. I wasn't Bella.

I turned off the TV when she left and went upstairs. I showered at night for the second time that week and then I dressed methodically in pajamas and got into bed. A feeling like first date jitters overwhelmed me. I tried to calm myself down by picturing something quiet. Like being outside on a summer day near the evening when the air is damp and tangy with the pine trees.

I was standing in my backyard in my head. He appeared out of the woods for some reason but since it had happened naturally, I let it happen, glad I wouldn't have to force the beginning of the meeting. He came toward me, smiling a little bit. Neither of us spoke. He stopped in front of me and then smiled wider, that odd little sideways smile that made me feel weird. He took my hand and lead me into the house, through the kitchen and the dining room and pulled me upstairs behind him. Maybe it was easier to think of him taking charge since I felt like I didn't know what I was doing. When we got to the top of the stairs the scene jumped to us in my bedroom. I got nervous at that point and started focusing on tiny details to delay the action like when you keep talking to stall someone. I saw the lighting in the room which was dim and looked watery coming through the window. I could hear the rain and our breathing under that. I wasn't trying to skip anything but suddenly we were kissing, his hands slipped around my waist. I tried to conjure the way he smelled but it was weak. The scent was too complex to really replicate. It was the same way with trying to recall the way his mouth had tasted although I did remember how it was nice not to be encountering stubble on his unnaturally smooth skin. He pushed off the unbuttoned shirt I was wearing leaving me in a t-shirt. He was dressed as he usually was in dark pants and a buttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I brought my hands up to his shirt and tried to picture unbuttoning it. I didn't get very far and so like she had advised I tried to think of a different direction. I thought about us laying down instead which was easy because that image came unbidden every night almost. We stayed mostly clothed and went to kissing again. I drew on the feeling of laying next to him in the tent to detail how his body looked next to mine. I placed my hand on his hip so I could pull him closer to me, I tried not to feminize him because it seemed like that would destroy the purpose of the exercise being whether or not I could be sexual with him, another man. I thought of his face so I could keep focus on who I was with. I saw him smile again and became aware that in reality I was aroused and had been since before the point when we laid down. I thought about removing more clothing and that didn't work. I thought about him touching my chest and stomach over my clothes which was nice until I tried to picture his hand going down further and had to stop again. Finally I ended up just thinking about us kissing more only pressed closer together. I pulled his leg over mine, increasing the contact between us. I felt a little paranoid like if someone was watching me they would somehow know what I was thinking about but at that point I sort of didn't care. I let my hand slip down under the waistband of my pajama pants. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be doing this or just thinking about us together but it felt natural and the fantasy changed and didn't feel so directed as I started actually touching myself thinking about us together. His hand slid under the back of my shirt, soothing and light against my heated skin. The whole scene was about like making out in high school complete with me coming, still fully clothed, both in the fantasy and real life.

I wasn't sure how I felt afterwards. A little empty because he wasn't actually there when I opened my eyes. I didn't know what I was going to tell the therapist the next day. I wasn't particularly interested in talking to her about jerking off. But I supposed that I didn't have to go back either. I had found out what I needed to know sort of. It would be different with him in person I was sure but at least I knew my level of sexual excitement when thinking about him was enough to be fulfilling.

I changed my clothes, talked myself out of driving to his house and got back into bed. I would talk to Dr. Greenstick about this and then move on to the part that was far scarier than what I had just done. I wasn't afraid of sex. I was afraid that what he had said was true, that I was in love with him. Because if that was true, my entire life would change. I hadn't wasted time when I knew I loved Renee and even though it ended less than ideally, I didn't regret it.

If I loved him, I wouldn't waste time.

* * *

END NOTES: Mini lime!

For some reason I thought this was_ hilarious_ when I first wrote it:  
_"Yeah, I'm pretty sure oral sex is going to involve some things I'm not familiar with."_


	7. He's a Monster

_AN~I love Canada! (Unrelated to story.)_

* * *

**7**

I felt even more nervous driving to her office the next day than I had the first time I'd gone. I arrived fifteen minutes early and sat in my car trying to decide how I was going to spin the fantasy to make it the least embarrassing possible for me.

She smiled at me when she answered the door and waved me in past her. When were seated she asked how I was and if I wanted anything to drink. I thought she was going to jump right into interrogating me about what I had done but she didn't and I almost wanted to interrupt and say we really just needed to get that part over with. Instead she asked a series of fairly benign questions that made me even more anxious.

"Have you heard any news of your daughter and her family?"

"Uh, nope. Nothing. Not really expecting to at this point though."

"Have you seen Sue?"

"Yeah. She was over for dinner last night."

"And how did that go?"

"Okay. She was a little distant but nothing too big I don't think."

"And have you had any contact with Aro?"

"No. I thought about going to see him but I wasn't sure if that was a good idea while I still hadn't figured everything out."

"Of course. Is there anything else you would like to discuss?"

"Um, well, you had me do that thing."

"Yes. Would you like to talk about it?"

"I thought I had to . . ."

"You don't _have_ to talk about anything."

"Is this some kind of therapist thing I'm not understanding? Are you wanting me to volunteer information?"

"I'm here to help you with the things you need help with. If you completed the activity and the insight you gained is good enough for you then you don't need to tell me about it if you don't feel comfortable. If it brought up more questions or significantly altered your perception of your feelings for Aro and you're still not sure how to proceed, you can share with me the things that caused you to feel that way."

"Okay. Well, it wasn't very elaborate but it's obvious that there is maybe a possibility . . . for a sexual relationship of some kind . . ."

"Good. And how do you feel about that?"

"Terrified."

"Terrified how?"

"Well, because now I know that it's not all emotional or whatever it is I'm feeling. It's all of it. That's scary."

"What do you intend to do with this information?"

"I honestly do not know."

"Are you still unsure about the depth of your emotional attachment?"

"A little. I mean, I'm not sure it matters. If any of this matters. How I feel doesn't really change my life situation. I still don't really see how a relationship would work practically."

"Whatever you decide, I think you would benefit from talking to him about it. Get closure on this thing with him so you can both move on if that's what's best."

"Am I supposed to break up with Sue?"

"I can't tell you that. I'm not even saying you have to speak with Aro. I'm not here to tell you what to do, I can only listen and offer counsel where it seems appropriate and, I think, even if you don't want to rearrange your life to accommodate his presence he deserves to have an explanation from you. If you're afraid of what might happen if you meet him in private then meet him in a public place where you can discuss things civilly."

"Uh, yeah. Okay. I guess that's something."

"I would like to schedule another appointment with you in case you feel like you need to come back again and you can decide to cancel if you've already worked things out with Aro."

"Okay."

"It'll have to be the first of next week."

"That's fine."

I didn't really feel better on the way home as nothing had changed but now that I had been advised to talk to him I was both anxious and excited about seeing him again. I just needed to decide if I should talk to Sue beforehand. I didn't think I wanted to detail what was happening before I knew anything but I wasn't sure if what had happened already had changed things enough with her that we shouldn't be together regardless.

It was well after eight when I got home and already mostly dark. I sat in my car, staring at the front of my house like I did most nights now, trying to decide if I should do the insane thing and go to his house utterly confused and vulnerable. I should call him first. I needed to go inside and calm down. I got out and went to the porch. I started to open the door and stopped.

I needed to stay calm, I needed to call him like a calm, sane person and I needed to figure out how I felt before I did that. I wasn't being very convincing and hadn't talked myself into opening the door. My hand had dropped in fact and was hanging pointlessly by my side.

I didn't need to think more, I didn't need to try to be calm because I knew already. I knew how I felt.

I spun around and went back down the steps. I should have gotten in my car but I was too agitated. I started walking. I hoped I wasn't going to be seen because I would look completely loony. It started raining of course and by the time I arrived in front of the Cullens I was completely drenched. I then played the same game I just had at my house only trying to make myself knock instead of turning the knob. He answered after about thirty seconds once I finally did knock even though it was so light I was surprised even he heard it. Or maybe he was spying on me waiting to see what I would do and looking annoyingly smug.

He looked over my wet clothes and what I'm sure was a desperate expression on my face but didn't say anything.

I had been trying to think of what to say on the way there. A speech maybe. Or any kind of coherent explanation for why I was showing up on his doorstep like this. I couldn't speak though. I couldn't remember any of the things I had thought I might say. Panic was rising and instead of trying to talk, I stepped forward and kissed him.

He kissed me back. It wasn't like our first kiss, it was soft and slow and it made my heart beat oddly for a few seconds. When I pulled away he was smiling a little. A slight version of the dizzying smile.

"I'm sorry . . ."

"Hmm. You're also very damp . . ."

He plucked at the sleeve of my shirt and carefully swiped at a line of water drops along my jawline.

"Uh, yeah. I walked here for some reason."

"Come in, we'll dry your clothes."

He led me into the house and up the stairs sort of like in my fantasy. We went into a large bedroom and he dug in a drawer until he found a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. He turned back to me and took in the fact that I was shivering.

"It might be a good idea for you to shower. Warm you up a little. By yourself," he added when I fidgeted obviously at this suggestion. He went into a large bathroom off the bedroom and set the dry items on the counter.

"If you just leave your wet clothes on the floor, I can take them and dry them. The shower door isn't see-through," he said with an amused smirk when I couldn't stop myself from glancing at it nervously.

He left and I closed the door. I had forgotten I was still in my uniform and had a brief moment of self-deprecating humor when I looked in the mirror and realized I had come to tell another man I thought I was in love with him while dressed like a member of the_ Village People_.

I left my clothes on the floor like he'd said. I didn't stay in for very long but they were gone when I came out again. I hadn't noticed the door opening or closing. The loaned clothes looked and felt new and fit me okay. The only thing that felt weird about it was my lack of underwear.

He wasn't in the bedroom. I went into the hallway and then downstairs and found him sitting in the living room, reading of course. He didn't look up when I came in although I was sure he knew I was there. I went and sat on the couch next to him but not too close, on a separate cushion.

He turned his head and looked me over.

"I forgot how cute you look in just your pajamas."

He reached over and tugged on one of the folds created in my pant leg by sitting. This gesture caused the fabric to tighten across my thigh and I had a weird rushing sensation in my head.

"Haven't been called 'cute' for a while . . ."

"A lapse in observational skills by the people you've been involved with . . ."

He was watching me with this openly sensual look and I knew we'd be kissing again if I didn't say something and we really needed to talk about this first.

"I don't understand this," I admitted.

"What's to understand? I'm just a person. Would you question your attraction to any other person?"

"I don't know, Aro. I've never been . . . interested in another man before. But then you're not really 'a man,' are you?"

"Well, I am not a woman," he said smiling softly.

"You know what I mean."

"Yes. But what I am has nothing to do with who I am. At least not in relation to anything that might happen between us."

He closed the book and set it on the table next to the couch and then turn toward me, bringing one of his legs up so he was almost facing me.

"Why did you come here tonight?"

"Uh, I wanted to see you . . ."

"You've seen me. Now what?"

"I don't know. I don't know what you want or how you're, like, feeling about any of this . . ."

"Are you asking how I feel or just telling me you don't know?"

"I guess I'm asking."

"Well, I like you."

"Okay. Um, well what do you think is—I mean, what do you want to have happen here?"

"What are you offering?"

"How does that effect what you want?"

"Because I don't want to go around wanting something I can't have. I've already done far too much of that and it hasn't always ended well for me."

"I feel weird saying it like I'm making you an offer. You're not a house I'm buying. So I don't know what to say. It's complicated here. Having a relationship with you would be really . . . complicated."

"Are you saying this because you want an excuse not to do it or is it an actual dilemma?"

"I'm not trying to get rid of you—"

"What I meant was, 'Is there an actual obstacle to us having a romantic relationship or are you finding an excuse to experiment without taking a risk?'"

"I don't know. I hope not. I mean, I like you, I'm not trying to use you. I wouldn't have come here if you didn't matter to me. But I don't want to promise you something I can't give you and I probably shouldn't have come here until I knew wha—"

He kissed me, moving so that he was turned halfway toward me and then when I kissed him back he pushed me down gently onto my back, following me so he was hovering over me.

"We could just do this for a while . . . talk later," he said, a very persuasive grin on his face.

"Okay, that sounds—"

He was kissing me again before I could finish, letting some of his weight relax on top of me. His lips left mine and went down to my throat and I wanted to tell him to stop because whether or not I decided to break up with Sue, it would be a really bad idea to have hickeys on me whenever I saw her next but whatever he was doing felt so good I couldn't think well enough to conjure any words of dissent.

The next few minutes were odd because when you were with a woman, you could never entirely be sure if they were turned on but male anatomy was far less ambiguous about arousal and even though all of his skin felt equally unyielding, it was pretty obvious that he wasn't apathetic about being in this situation with me. I didn't know if I liked it yet but I was glad I wasn't repulsed at least.

He had been doing something I didn't have a description for to my ear for the last minute or so when he stopped and whispered against the skin under my jaw a question that terrified and drew me simultaneously.

"Do you want to go upstairs?"

"I don't know what I'm doing . . ."

"Well, we don't have to do anything but seeing as I do not know how to drive, you should probably stay over and since we're already laying down anyway, it might be more comfortable for you in a bed . . ."

"Are we going to sleep in the same bed?"

"Unless you don't want to."

"No, it's fine."

He stood and gave me his hand and then again led me upstairs back to the same room as before. He nudged me toward the bed.

"I'm going to change, would you like me to do it in the other room?"

"Uh, no. It's your room. I won't stare at you."

"Well now I'm just offended."

I heard him chuckle when I looked away and went to lay down. I turned on my side. It seemed like it would be weird not to look at all. If it were a woman, I would definitely look and, I think, be expected to. I was just going to glance and then look away but something more than romantic interest stopped me once I had looked. He'd already unbuttoned his shirt and was taking it off. He was wearing a close-fitting undershirt and now I could see the pale skin of his arms to the bicep. He was relatively slender in general but not scrawny. Sleek. He looked like his skin would feel soft but I already knew that it wasn't. I wondered if his skin would feel differently to me if I were like him. I was staring now but it was sort of incidental because I was just thinking and spacing off. He didn't get much more revealing though, only swapped his pants for pajama bottoms like mine before turning back to me. He caught me looking in that direction sort of blankly and grinned.

"Voyeur."

He slipped a finger into the waistband of his pants and pressed down to expose part of his hipbone.

"Oh. Sorry. I wasn't really looking, just thinking, actually."

He huffed and let the elastic of his pants snap back into place.

"You're very bad at flattery, Charlie."

He was to the side of the bed before I could respond. He climbed over me instead of going around or making me move so that he was straddling me for a few moments. He eyed me with a different kind of smile than I had seen before, looking at me like I was a dessert of some kind. His long hair fell forward where it wasn't pinned back and I had to resist touching it. Then he settled in the covers, several feet of space between us and placed his hands chastely, one on top of the other, on his chest and closed his eyes.

"Are you . . . going to sleep?"

"I don't sleep."

"Oh, so why are we—?"

"In a bed?"

"Yes."

"Well, you have to sleep, I assume."

"Yeah, but I'm not tired right now."

"Would you like to talk?"

"Uh, sure."

"Would you like to tell me when you knew how much you liked me?"

"Are you asking for flattery now?"

"Yes. I need to be told how wonderful I am constantly or I become unbearably morose."

"You're wonderful."

"That sounded very sarcastic."

"It was."

"Well, _I _know when I liked _you_."

He paused and stared off at the ceiling absentmindedly like we weren't in the middle of a conversation. I sighed.

"Fine. When?"

"Ever since you dropped all of those forks the night you invited me to dinner."

"So you like clumsiness . . ."

"Well I've never listed it as a trait I find attractive before but it's sort of endearing on you. You were just so . . . nervous. It was lovely."

He reached out and took my hand under the covers. He didn't ask again but I knew he was waiting.

"I guess it was when you ran off into the woods by yourself while we were hiking."

"Oh. Is that why you were so angry?"

"That was probably part of it, yeah."

"Aw. You were worried about me."

"Yeah. I was. That was a fucked up thing to do to me."

"Nothing in those woods could hurt me. Maybe I should have told you that . . ."

"What about the wolves?"

He took a minute to answer, using that time to trace icy patterns onto the back of my hand with his fingers.

"Right. That dog showed himself to you."

"Yeah, Jake. So you do know about the Quileute."

"Yes. Fascinating. I would have loved to have had some of them myself. But they're not really dogs of course, they're _people_, so apparently that was _offensive_ to them."

He made an exasperated face.

"I'm not sure which part of that I should question."

"That depends on how much you want to know . . ."

"I kind of think I have to know everything at this point . . ."

"Well I don't think you _want_ to know everything."

"I don't. But I still feel like I have to."

He sighed heavily.

"You wouldn't like it. And right now you like me. I don't want you stop liking me . . ."

"So you think I'm shallow."

"No. Sweet Charlie, you are not shallow. You are just normal."

"So why were you asking me what I was offering then since what you are is probably more relevant to whether or not we can have a relationship. If you're not human and I don't even know what you are, how can that be anything?"

"How would knowing change anything?"

"Because Bella changed when she married Edward and I'm guessing it was for practical reasons. I mean, you're insanely strong and quick and your skin is, well, like it is. And you don't sleep and you don't eat . . ."

"I eat. It's just different than what you're eating."

"If we were really going to be together, I would have to change like Bella, wouldn't I?"

"That would be your choice."

"So why don't you tell me what you are and let me decide if that's something I want."

"No. You don't want to be like me."

"Did Bella want to be like you?"

"That's what she said."

"So you think that she didn't?"

"I was just never quite sure what she was thinking . . ."

"Was Edward the one who told Bella?"

"Yes."

"Because he liked her?"

"Yes."

"Then it's you who isn't offering anything."

I shook my hand free and stuffed it under the pillow I was laying on.

"It's just not the right life for you, Charlie."

"And I still feel like that should be my choice."

"So you're ready to give up your entire life for me, someone you've only known a few months?"

"Why would I have to give up my life?"

"You saw how different Bella was, you couldn't stay in Forks after. And it wouldn't really be practical for you to live among humans either."

"But the Cullens did. And you do."

"I do not live among humans. The time I have spent with you is the most like the Cullens that I have ever been."

"Where do you usually live?"

"Away from humans, with others like me."

"And I can't live there."

"I can't even live there. It no longer exists."

"So, you're homeless and you won't tell me anything about yourself. Now I know why I'm attracted to you against all reason."

"All reason? I've been told I'm very charming."

"You are charming. It's unsettling. I was wondering if maybe you had some kind of weird superpower where you controlled people."

"No, nothing like that . . ."

He trailed off sounding wistful.

"But you have something."

"Yes."

"And you're not going to tell me that either are you?"

"You wouldn't believe me."

"I watched Jacob transform into a huge dog right in front of me. My level of disbelief is significantly lower than it once was."

"I don't think you would like knowing this about me . . ."

"Okay. So what I'm hearing is that we can't be together at all so it doesn't really—"

"I can read minds."

"You're a magician?"

"No. I can actually read minds."

"Okay, what am I thinking?"

"It doesn't work like that."

"How does it work?"

"I need to be touching you."

He slid closer and reached for my hand again. He slipped his fingers between mine like that night in the tent. Again they fit perfectly and it made being objective so much harder. Too many things about him felt perfect, it couldn't be real. Now I wasn't sure I wanted him knowing what I was thinking then because it involved removing clothing and I wasn't ready for that. He had his eyes closed and he was making a face like he was trying to hear something far away.

"Okay. What am I thinking?"

"It's not clear."

"So you were just looking for an excuse to hold hands with me?"

"No. I really do need to be touching someone. But you have an ability similar to your daughter's although less absolute. I couldn't read her mind at all. With yours I can see only vague impressions. The holding hands with you part is a perk."

"So what kind of 'impressions' are you getting now then?"

"You're confused. And worried about the potential physical aspect of us being together."

"Those are easy guesses."

"Concentrate on something not easy to guess then."

"Okay . . ."

I closed my eyes and focused on Melany's office. Two seconds later he said, "You saw a therapist about me?"

"Are you stalking me?"

"That's more likely than me reading minds?"

"Kind of."

"But how would I know it was about me?"

"I guess I should have thought about something I didn't want you to know . . ."

"Why would you not want me to know that?"

"Because seeing a therapist at all is weird for me."

"So this was important enough to you to do that?"

"Looks that way."

"Is it okay if I kiss you now?"

"I don't know, feels like you're trying to distract me from this whole thing where you're keeping what you are a secret."

"But you _want_ to kiss me."

"Okay, you really can't be doing that."

I lifted our hands but didn't let go.

"I can't help it. It's automatic."

"Well it's really unfair."

"Why is it unfair? You don't like talking about your feelings. This way you don't have to."

"That's something I guess."

Then I suddenly remembered my homework and immediately dropped his hand.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"It wasn't nothing. It was about me. I was in your room . . ."

"It was part of the therapy. I don't want to talk about it."

"You can _show_ me instead . . ."

He didn't touch me, just hovered his hand over mine while giving me a slightly mischievous look. He had to know it was something revealing based on him being in my room.

"She wanted me to try to imagine doing something physical with you so I could see if it was appealing in any way."

"And was it?"

"It was interesting."

"Why don't you want to show me? I won't be offended."

"It's just sort of embarrassing."

"Please?"

He gave me a sweetly cajoling look and finally I sighed and said okay. His cold, silky fingers closed around mine but it felt different this time, almost professional.

"Just picture it as clearly as you can."

I was looking at him at first but then had to close my eyes to keep going. I thought about us in my room, just kissing at the foot of my bed. Then us laying down and kissing, me trying to focus on what it might feel like being with him, not with a woman. I wanted to pull away when we got to the part where I started touching myself while pressed against him in the fantasy but his breathing had changed and become sort of a soft series of sighs instead of exhales. He turned his hand so our fingers were laced together again. As it was near the point where I climaxed he released my hand and slid his around my lower back, pulling me against him a little more roughly than he had been before. He kissed me much more aggressively and when I opened my eyes as he pulled away I saw that he looked a bit glazed, almost drowsy.

"I'm guessing that was okay then?"

"Only if it's okay that it makes me want to do things that you're probably not ready for . . ."

"Oh, um, yeah, sorry about that. I don't know what I'm ready for exactly."

"Well, in your fantasy we were just close like this, kissing. So we could do that, only a little more . . ."

"More like what?"

"You could let me touch you . . ."

I fidgeted and he said we didn't have to got straight to that but to keep it open as a possibility.

"Okay."

He kissed me again, moving his hips slightly so I could feel he was aroused. I slid my hand under his shirt a little ways, touching the soft skin of his back. His lips left mine and went to my throat. He inhaled deeply and made an odd little sound like he'd choked back a moan.

"Do you really want to know what I am?"

His voice was deep and smooth now, his chilled breath bouncing off my collarbone as he whispered. I couldn't think enough to really consent fully and I mumbled something affirmative.

"I think you already know," he whispered under my ear now.

"Do I?"

"How do I feel to you?"

"Like your body?"

"Yes."

"Cold and hard."

The word "hard" reminded me of what was happening lower down between us and I squirmed causing exciting but currently unwelcome friction.

"And?"

"You're pale."

"Like the Cullens . . ."

"Yeah . . ."

"Who lived here, in the land of eternal cloud cover . . ."

"I don't—"

"Did you ever see the Cullens on a sunny day?"

"I have no idea. I don't know how I would remember something like that."

"Have you ever seen _me_ on a sunny day?"

"I don't remember . . ."

"If you had seen me in the sunlight, you would have remembered it."

"Okay. Why?"

"My skin isn't like yours."

"I know that."

"Are you being intentionally obstinate, Charlie, or are you suppressing your knowledge of what I am out of fear?"

"No, I really don't know. I guess I'm dumber than you think I am."

"_I am very pale."_

"Yup."

"I don't go out in the sunlight . . ."

"Okay."

"And I don't eat _your food_."

He lips were on my neck then. I felt his teeth touch my skin just barely, then his tongue tap a small circle of damp there. Oh God. Oh my God.

"You're . . ."

"A demon."

"You don't exist . . ."

"I'm here holding you, so I must."

"But . . . there was garlic in the food we had that night you came over."

He chuckled.

"You really are quite precious, you know. Your last defense against what I am is that I didn't recoil in the presence of a vegetable?"

"But you're not a monster."

I had no idea what I was saying. He _was_ a monster. One who fed on human beings and I had just given into him. I thought of his lips on my neck and how good it had felt, like he'd practiced it a million times. He had. When he killed. _God_.

"I am. And a murderer."

"Are you going to kill me. Is that what you've been doing?"

"No."

"So what then?"

"The same as before. I like you very much. But now you know why things would be so much more complicated than you've been imagining even."

I tried to focus so I could make some kind of sane decision about what to do now. Obviously running would be stupid, he was way too fast. And he'd said he didn't want to hurt me. I was still clinging to him, still touching his back. And I hadn't lost my erection. I still wanted him. He was still impossibly beautiful but now dangerous as well. I had never been especially attracted to danger but I also hadn't become a cop because I had an aversion to it either.

I realized that I was feeling two emotions: one was fear and the other was disappointment. The latter was far stronger which confirmed to me the way nothing else had that I was in love with him. He was a monster and I loved him and there was nothing I could do about either thing.

He pressed on my back to hold me tighter against him, illustrating that my physical response to him hadn't diminished. I kissed him. It felt sinful and good. I wanted more. I was intoxicated with want, with an otherworldly desire to experience something secret and dark. He pushed me over so his body was covering mine partially.

"What do you want, Charlie?"

His lips on my throat again but now with my new knowledge of him it was terrifying and exciting in a way I wasn't familiar with. I had never erocticised death and I didn't think I was now but the idea that he could kill me and he wasn't made me feel special. Incomprehensibly safe. He was the most dangerous thing in the world that I knew of and if he wasn't going to hurt me, he probably wouldn't let anything else hurt me either.

I made an involuntary sound when he fingertips touched my bare stomach. Then he was kissing me again and I moved the hand that was on his back into his hair. It wasn't like anyone's hair I had ever touched. It was softer and thicker. Oh God, he wasn't real. He wasn't human. It didn't matter.

His hand moved down further and I didn't stop him. A few people aside from Sue and Renee had touched me like this but this was different. His hands weren't particularly masculine but they were larger than the others. He stayed above my clothes, touching me lightly, cupping his hand around me.

"Tell me if you want me to stop . . ."

I moved my hand down and placed it over his encouraging him to keeping touching me, moving his in a slow stroke which he repeated after I released him. I felt like someone else. That wasn't something I would have done with any woman I was with. I'd always just felt glad for anything they were doing and didn't feel like I should attempt to interfere in any way let alone actually direct their actions.

I felt like there was a shift in our exchange then. I had directed him how to touch me and I had my tongue in his mouth. He was heavy so I didn't think I could move him but he shifted willingly when I indicated I wanted him to until our positions were reversed. His hand and was still on me but it was more my movement against him than his which brought me to my end. I moaned his name into his hair, inhaling his scent as I breathed in from it.

He held me loosely afterwards, pressing soft kisses to my face and neck. I thought I might feel shame or guilt but I didn't. I couldn't. It didn't matter who we were or what he was or that we were both men.

It was just sex with someone I loved.

"Do you want me to touch you?"

I hadn't thought this was something I would have been able to do even yesterday but now I wanted to be close, I wanted him to feel good because of me.

"Not if you'd be doing it out of obligation."

I didn't answer. I slid my hand down and paused at the top of his pants. Doing this would change me. This was as much a first sexual experience as my first time with a woman had been. It would leave a mark on me and I didn't know if it would be good or bad or something I could live with later.

He was very still, watching me. He wasn't even breathing. He swallowed when I looked at him. He looked fragile the way he had a few times before. Not a killer or a monster. Just a person, maybe as nervous as I was. I did it before I could back out. He gasped a little and tilted his head back when I touched him. Even though this anatomy was far less mysterious to me than a female's, I felt even less like I know what I was doing. He felt cold even through two layers of fabric and so unyielding I didn't see how he could even feel it. But his hand shot down and covered mine after a few seconds.

"This might not be safe. I could hurt you by accident."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

I was going to pull away but his hand was still over mine.

"I think if I'm not touching you maybe . . ."

He let go of my hand and took his other which had been on my back and crossed them both over his head. His hair was spread out on the pillow underneath him and the paleness of his arms cut through this dark mass making the contrast between them more stark. His face was serene. He looked angelic. Like a renaissance painting come to life.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes. But not on the mouth. I don't want to bite you by accident. It would be quite painful."

He stayed very still which felt odd at first but then his face displayed a series of small, soft reactions so subtle I had to watch for them. I asked him to looked at me and he did. Then I watched his porcelain face dip from passivity into need and then a soft, melodic exhalation and his hips rising to meet my hand. I kissed along his jaw and throat the way he'd done to mine and he writhed underneath me, moaning quietly. His hands clenched but stayed above his head. I slowed, about to stop but he told me not to. I hadn't really thought of what an orgasm would be like for him but they apparently lasted a lot longer than a human one because it was at least a full minute before he relaxed again and placed one of his hands over mine gently to still my movements.

There were deep gouges in the headboard above him now and I saw why he was afraid he might hurt me. That was solid wood and it had splintered like it was made of thin ice under his touch.

I turned on my side and he followed me, slipping his arm around my waist to keep me close. We were quiet for awhile. I was freaking out a little bit about what had just happened. I hadn't expected to just jump right into anything like that and I had done it without hesitating very much.

He'd had his eyes closed but then he opened them and sighed, looking over my face slowly.

"Ask me to stay here with you."

"Aro, I can't just—"

"Please?"

I laughed. He was making a pleading face that was so pathetic it made me sure that he'd probably never had any trouble getting what he wanted out of anyone.

"Well if you're going to use the magic word . . ."

"I know it's not an easy thing to request from you, but will you think about it?"

His face had morphed out of his former expression of blatant manipulation and back to his usual passive sweetness. I thought about never seeing it again if he left and it hurt so much I immediately backed away from it.

"Okay. I'll think about it."

He said, "Yay," quietly and was grinning widely. I was surprised he didn't also clap his hands together excitedly because he looked like he wanted to.

"Never thought I would be saying this to another guy, but, you're kind of . . . adorable."

"I'd like to say you're the first one to tell me that but it's a popular opinion of me. Also, 'evil megalomaniac' but let's stick to 'adorable' . . ."

"So, you're an _evil _vampire . . ."

"I've never thought so."

"But other people do?"

He turned on his back to stare at the ceiling.

"I can't tell you anything about my old life which wouldn't make it necessary for me to leave. You wouldn't want m—I mean, I know it's unfair and if you can't accept it, I understand, but I'd like to just forget about it as much as possible. I'm not the same as I was then. I want a different kind of life now . . ."

"What are you asking me to do? Just pretend like you had no life before we met?"

"No, just trust that that life won't have anything to do with ours and that the person that you know, is the person I'm going to be from now on. No unpleasant surprises. Just your boring, every day incredibly sexy Italian man who's very good at kissing . . ."

I winced. "That sounds like a description from one of Renee's romance novels. Let's just try to keep this—"

"As 'straight' as possible?"

"No. Obviously that's stupid."

"Are you sure? We could arm wrestle next time before we make out if you like . . ."

"That actually sounds gayer . . ."

"Shopping then?"

"Let's just . . . do what we're doing. This is fine."

"I thought it was. So why you were reading your wife's romance novels then? I mean, if you're not into dreamy, blue-eyed sailors on leave . . ."

"I read _part of_ one. And it was the stupidest thing I've ever read."

He put his hand on my cheek and then laughed.

"Naughty. You just skipped ahead to the sex."

"Yeah. Because I'm a dude."

"Women do that too."

"You're the only man I've ever been remotely attracted to, just so you know."

"Do you think I'm accusing you of being secretly gay?"

"No. I just—I don't know actually. It's a straight guy thing to be really defensive about being called gay. It's stupid and it's changing but it was like that for me growing up and it's hard to shake being that way."

"I understand. I'm not judging you."

"Yeah. So I did something kind of fucked up to this guy I went to high school with. I don't know if he was gay but everyone called him gay because he was sort of . . . um—"

"Like me?"

"—girly. Or maybe he wasn't and we just thought that because he drew these dumb comics instead of playing sports. Anyway, we tormented him constantly and being the stupid jock I was at the time I sort of . . . gave him a wedgie . . . in the middle of the cafeteria. A wedgie is—"

"I know what a wedgie is. No one has ever been brave enough to try giving me one though but I'm sure some of them wanted to . . ."

"Right. Well, he left school and never came back. I ruined that kid's life . . ."

"I'm sure he's recovered."

"I don't know. I can't decide if what I did would be worse if he _was_ gay or if he wasn't. It would be really hard to have people treat you that way for something you don't have any control over."

"Did you go to high school here in Forks?"

"Yup. Born and raised."

"So you're afraid that people might treat_ you_ like that then?"

"Well I doubt they'd be stupid enough to try giving the Chief of Police a wedgie but, yeah, there would be some fallout."

"Hmm. I really like you but asking you to face all of that seems really unfair. I'm not sure I can do that . . ."

The fact that he was concerned about my stupid insecurities over his own wants made it feel like there was a weight on my chest. I was being being selfish and for no reason except to protect my feelings. I had been using my job as a justification but I really didn't know if I would be voted out based on this. I had had this job for more than ten years, it would be an obvious case of discrimination if it happened. It was a pretty small town to do something that drastic. Everyone would have to face each other after that, wondering who was a homophobe and who wasn't. I wasn't the type of person to go on a crusade but, statistically, there were plenty more kids and adults in Forks just like that kid I humiliated who lived in fear of that kind of a treatment and worse. Doing that was one of my biggest regrets and, even if they didn't know it, I would be doing the same thing to every gay person in this town if I let what people might think effect my decision to be with the person I actually wanted to be with. If I concealed it, and hid him I would be condoning that kind of hatred and letting it continue.

I kissed him. He tried to speak and I cut him off by kissing him again. He submitted to it even though he was so much stronger it was probably like letting a kitten pull you around by tugging on your pant leg.

"I'm going to tell Sue."

"About this?"

"I don't know. But I'm going to end it with her. I should have already. I probably should have before I met you. You were right. I'm not in love with her. I liked her, but I was wasting her time."

"When are you are you going to do it?"

"As soon as possible. Tomorrow."

He looked hopeful but I could tell he didn't want to ask.

"Look, I don't know what's going to happen after that. I don't know what's going to happen when I talk to her. But, um, just don't leave yet?"

"Given that I'm homeless and friendless, and literally have nowhere else to go, I suppose I can reluctantly agree to that arrangement. Also because I've put a lot of work into seducing you at this point and it would be tragic to just waste it all now."

"So were you actually like hitting on me this whole time and I didn't notice?"

"I may have flirted a bit. And yes, you were pretty oblivious. I was surprised you fell for my whole damsel-in-distress act to be honest. You're so _innocent_, Chief Swan."

The way he said "innocent" made me feel like he would really like to take that supposed innocence away.

"What are you talking about?"

"Fuse box . . ."

"You did that."

Of course.

"And you just came right to the rescue in your cute little police car . . ."

"Wow. That was a really girly thing to do."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Why didn't you just call me?"

"You didn't seem to want to see me again . . ."

"So you thought you would just force me to hang out with you?"

He laughed quietly and looked ridiculously smug.

"I should probably say that I am sort of used to getting whatever I want. I guess that's something that has carried over from my past self . . ."

He didn't look embarrassed at all about admitting this and knowing how easily he'd already gotten me to do whatever he wanted I was a little bit afraid of turning into his puppet.

"You're kind of scary . . ."

"Yes, well, I promise to only use my powers for good from now on."

"Until you want something you think you won't get . . ."

"You really should go to sleep, Charlie, I'm sure you're very tired," he said sweetly, tugging the blankets up around me and passing his fingers gently down my face so I would close my eyes.

"Guess my life is over . . ." I said but I kept my eyes closed. I was actually really tired.

"Hmm. Maybe it's just starting . . ."

* * *

END NOTES: Tada! Il y a plus de limes pour vous! Delicious limes . . .

I noticed that some of this conversation is very similar to Aro and Bella talking in her room in _Sunlight_. So I'm just going to say it's because Charlie and Bella are so much alike, not because I'm unoriginal . . . yeah, totally that.

For non-North Americans,_ Village People_ is a band from the 70's which is famous for the song _YMCA. _They dressed in elaborate costumes on stage. Things like construction worker, Indian, biker and, of course, cop, which is what Charlie is referring to. This band and their costumes are widely considered to be _the gayest thing ever_ after Liberace. Just trust me that Charlie being dressed like a cop in that scene is funny as butt.


	8. He's a Person

_AN~Whoa. Sorry about the delay. I was out of the country for a week and then I decided to split this story into two and now the later half will be a sequel. But there's an Aro POV. Something I haven't done until now. It was . . . intoxicating. I can't wait for you guys to read that stuff oh man._

* * *

**8**

I wasn't good at speeches. I hadn't known what I was going to say to Aro that night and I didn't know what I would say to Sue either.

She didn't try to kiss me when she came in, apparently a guy like me saying we needed to talk was as obvious as wearing a sign that said we were breaking up.

She glanced around like maybe there was some evidence of my new indifference scattered around the room and then just leaned against the counter and stared at me. She wasn't smiling and I had forgotten that she was a little bit terrifying when she was mad. For a second I wondered if she also had the ability to transform into a massive wolf. It didn't matter, I had to end this.

"Um, Sue, look, we can't—"

"No. Do not say 'can't.' _You_ don't want to. You're not being forced."

She was already pissed and I hadn't even gotten to it yet. I closed my eyes. I'd never actually broken up with anyone and I was realizing that I was a huge coward in the process of doing it.

"I just don't . . . feel the same way I did before . . ."

There was silence and I opened my eyes. She wasn't crying. She wasn't reacting much at all.

"They said it bad idea to get involved with someone on this side of the treaty line. But I thought, 'No, it's fine. I mean, it's Charlie, right? He wouldn't get caught up in all of that. That's Bella's thing . . .' But I guess it's more of a _Swan_ thing. You just can't seem to resist those pasty freaks."

I guessed it would be silly to deny it now. I wondered exactly how obvious I'd been.

"He can't stay here," she said and she sounded viciously glad to be delivering this news.

"He's not breaking the treaty . . ."

There. Admitting I knew and that this was about him.

"The pack doesn't want him here."

"The pack or you?"

The words were out before I could stop them, passing over my dry tongue and tasting bitter and mean.

"The treaty is with the Cullens!"

She was shouting and had come away from the counter a little.

"And he's a guest of theirs. Andrew said it was fine as long as he didn't violate the terms . . ."

"Well _Andrew _doesn't speak for the pack."

"And you do?" My voice was uncharacteristically shaky but I couldn't stop it and it made all of this so much worse.

"My daughter does. She's been alpha since—for a while."

"I won't try to act like I know her better than you but if you're looking for revenge, you won't find an ally in Leah and I'd like to believe you're not that petty anyway."

"Well I wanted to believe you weren't this _stupid_, Charlie, but there you go."

"I'm sorry, Sue. I obviously wasn't looking for this to happen."

"Obviously? Yeah, I would have thought so before! I just wish I had known about your . . . _orientation_ before I got into a relationship with you."

"I'm not gay, Sue."

She sputtered incoherently for a minute before finally speaking.

"_Then what are you doing with him, Charlie!?_ I'm sorry, I thought fucking other guys was the definition of gay. Am I confused about something?"

"We're not fu—it's complicated."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure. What with that whole thing where he's not even human. It's sick."

"He's a _person_."

I was surprised about how angry that made me. She could hate me and hate him but I wasn't going to let her treat him like he didn't even exist.

"You'll regret this. You'll regret getting involved with someone like that. I don't know what he did to make you act like you are but you're not safe."

"You don't know him."

I wished I sounded more sure. I felt like I was betraying him a little by not being sure.

She went for the door and paused when she got there.

"Just make sure when he turns you, that it doesn't happen here, okay? I'd like if they didn't have to kill you."

"I'm not going to—"

"No, you will. It's how they do things. Goodbye, Charlie."

She was crying then but the sound was quickly shut off by the door closing.

I waited a few minutes, trying to shake off how badly that encounter had gone and how badly it made me feel and then I called him. He didn't answer and it was still ringing when he appeared at the back door twenty seconds later. He walked calmly into the kitchen but I could tell he was trying not to pounce on me.

"So, how are . . . things?"

Despite the awfulness of that conversation with Sue, I laughed. He was terrible at being nonchalant.

"Oh nothing, I just proposed to Sue. Same old thing."

"Your honeymoon will be very awkward with me holding your other hand everywhere you go . . ."

"Do I have a say in this?"

"No. I can and I will literally follow you everywhere you go until you die."

"Guess you better go get your coffin and your army of bats and bring them on over then, no point in you pretending to live at the Cullens anymore since I'm obviously never getting rid of you now . . . "

He was kissing me with no interval between him being near the door to when he had his lips on mine. We hadn't kissed here yet, in my house. It felt uncomfortably personal.

He pressed his face to my neck and inhaled.

"Hmm. You smell nice . . ."

"I smell like my stuffy office. I just got off work."

"No. You smell . . . nice."

I could tell he was trying to come up with an adjective that didn't make it sound like he wanted to eat me which made me think of something I had been wondering about for the last several days since I'd found out what he was.

"Hey, um, can I ask you something?"

He tilted his face up to mine again.

"Why don't you have fangs? I mean, how do you . . .?"

"Drink blood?"

I made a face. Even though he'd told me that he only drank from animals now, it still made me queasy to know he'd fed on humans for most of his life. But he'd been alive for so long it wasn't even fathomable how many people he'd killed which made the whole thing very unreal.

He reached past me to the counter and retrieved a plain yellow pencil. He poked me with it like he was a magician illustrating its solidness and then stuck it into his mouth point first and bit down. His teeth clipped through it cleanly like it was made of frosting. He smiled in a way that sent a subtle, disturbing shiver over my skin. He handed the pencil back to me so I could see the now flat end of it. It was a smooth, neat cut. He stuck out his tongue displaying the severed tip. The gesture looked blatantly sexual and I was sure it wasn't accidental. Now that he was allowed to be, he'd become openly and sometimes aggressively physical when he wasn't being, or at least pretending to be, sweet and fragile.

He picked the bit of pencil off his tongue and held it between his fingertips for a second then squeezed it and it collapsed into tiny splinters and black graphite dust which he wiped on on my pant leg, extending the gesture to sweep his hand over my crotch before letting go. I shied away from this caress.

"Okay. Little scared of have you touch me . . . anywhere . . . with any part of you."

He chuckled happily, swiftly trapping me against the counter with one arm on either side of me.

"I won't hurt you, Charlie. I have _excellent_ self-control . . ."

He tucked his face under my jaw again, brushing my skin with a chilly exhale. I flinched and he caught my face with one hand. He kissed me, coaxing my lips apart and I gave into him the same way I had the other times. I had never been with anyone who had such easy control over me and it was frightening. He ended this forceful advance with a deceptively soft kiss and then smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry. I'll be nice now."

He moved his hands from the counter to my waist and his demeanor went from commanding to gentle.

"I missed you . . ."

He looked like he didn't know if he should regret saying this or not because it made him vulnerable to me. I decided to go with teasing him because it seemed to be the only way I had any power over him. He was remarkably easy to bait and became pouty and flustered easily if he wasn't being flattered or praised in some way.

"Uh, you saw me this morning . . ."

"I will miss you whenever I want to, Charlie Swan, don't try to tell me how to feel."

He frowned comically and glared at the floor.

"Stop. I guess I missed you, too. Sort of."

"Of course you did, I'm delightful."

"And humble."

"Humility is for people who have nothing to be vain about," he said airily.

"You're a brat."

"A sexy brat."

"Mm-hm."

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"That you think I'm sexy."

"And what if I don't think that?"

"You do. I heard it . . ."

He brushed my cheek to indicate that he'd picked it up out of my thoughts.

"Then why do you need me to say it?"

"Because it makes me happy."

"Fine. You're . . . attractive."

He stared at me for a moment, his tongue appearing in the corner of his mouth and then in a motion too quick for me to react to he unbuttoned my pants and slipped his hand inside my underwear cupping it firmly around me. I gasped at the sudden and unexpected contact with his cold skin.

"Sexy," he coached.

When I didn't respond right away he squeezed gently. It didn't hurt but it made me really nervous.

"You said you were going to be nice . . ."

"I am being nice . . ."

He maneuvered his hand into a slow, smooth stroke and I hardened quickly under his touch. I pressed forward into him.

"Now say it or I'll stop . . ."

"Okay. _You're sexy._ God. Obviously."

"Good. Now take me upstairs, I have surprise for you."

"Your surprises scare me . . ."

"You'll like this one . . ."

He bit his bottom lip and let it out slowly then leaned in and whispered in my ear. I took his hand and pulled him after me towards the stairs. I knew I was letting him manipulate me too easily but I was too infatuated and insane to care. It felt good to not care.

* * *

I cancelled my last appointment with Dr. Greenstick. I was afraid if I kept it Aro would insist on going with me so he could find out what I'd said in the previous sessions by shaking her hand. He was inordinately paranoid about finding out exactly how I felt about him. He kept trying to trick me into saying I loved him but it was too much fun making him nervous about it. He had enough from my thoughts that he should have been perfectly satisfied but I was quickly discovering that he was relentless about things he wanted. And while he was subtle about it most of the time, after a while he'd become his own brand of grumpy which involved following me around gloomily and sighing heavily whenever there was a silence.

Living with Aro was sort of like living with a very large cat, only more spoiled and complete with the tendency to climb into my lap and lick my face while I was trying to watch TV. He calmed down after a few weeks and stopped needing me to pay constant attention to him but he still tried to coax compliments out of me anytime we did interact.

In most other ways it was a lot like with Renee. That same need to be together all the time and to be touching in some way when we were. I didn't want to keep us a secret for long in case someone found out and it looked like I was trying to hide it. We couldn't very well announce it though so we did it subtly by being seen in public together in various places around town. We did not kiss or even touch overtly but our body language was telling enough. Standing closer than you would to a platonic friend and smiling idiotically most of the time. It felt pretty obvious to me but I really wasn't sure how well this strategy was working because no one said anything until one day in the pharmacy about three months after we started our "coming out" campaign.

Aro had seen a digital thermometer on TV and was fascinated by them and by finding out exactly what the difference in our temperatures was. I had had to coach him about how to be more human and to try not to look too excited about things like touch screens and snow globes and he did very well most of the time unless there was something unexpected and then he drew the attention of everyone in a hundred yards with his laugh but I couldn't really reprimand him about it because it was difficult to be upset with someone who was so happy all the time.

I was hovering around the front of the store when Randy Moore accosted me. Randy was in the grade below me all through school and while he wasn't terrible, we were never close either.

"Hey, how's it going, Charlie?"

"Okay, Randy. How are you?"

"Staying strong, man. So, what have you been up to?"

He cleared his throat in the middle of this question and my skin tightened uncomfortably all over my body. This was it.

"Not much. The usual, I guess."

"The usual . . ."

He glanced at Aro and then back at me.

"Yeah, well, didn't know that was your 'usual.' Would have been more careful about taking my shirt off in front of you when we went swimming back in the day if I'd known . . ."

"Sorry Randy, you're just not my type."

Aro was still looking at packages but he was also grinning now. I knew he'd be able to hear all of this conversation and I was trying to decide how much I should torture him.

Randy eyed me carefully, probably trying to decide if I was actually admitting to what he was alluding to.

"But we, uh, know your 'type' now, right?"

"Do you need something, Randy?"

"Just trying to be friendly."

"Uh-huh."

"But you are, you know . . ."

He glanced at Aro again who was still happily examining boxes and plastic packages in the band-aid aisle and then back at me swept his tongue along the inside of his cheek in a crude pantomime of oral sex.

"I don't think my relationships are any of your business, actually. And if it makes you uncomfortable, I'd suggest that you refrain from spying in my bedroom window."

He recoiled like I had thrown a cup of hot coffee on him.

"Whoa, dude. I don't want to hear about your butt—"

"You know, it's really pretty sad that you can't think of anything but that. Nobody would ever think about saying anything like what you just said to me if I were with a woman. Nobody questioned Donna when she chose to marry your dumb ass so I'd appreciate not being harassed about who I love either."

I walked away before he could respond verbally although his face was pretty hilarious. Aro was smiling hugely when I got back to him. I set my hand on his lower back lightly.

"Did you get what you need?"

He said "yes" and he was holding a single box now but the way he said it gave it a double meaning. He'd finally gotten a verbal confirmation of my feelings and he was obviously delighted.

We went to the front of the store and Andrea rang us up. She looked us both over and then shrugged. Everyone in the store was staring and most not even trying to pretend they weren't. The people in the pharmacy were leaning out past the counter to watch as we left. I let the door shut behind us before I grabbed him by the arm to stop him. I didn't look back but I knew they'd still be gawking when I kissed him. He looked dreamy and elated when I stopped. It wasn't a long kiss in any way but enough to solidly confirm that the weird European guy always with Charlie Swan now was, in fact, his boyfriend.

I took his hand as we walked back. He was smiling so much I wondered if it was making his face hurt. After a couple of blocks of staring at me and giving me an expectant look I tried to pretend I didn't know the meaning of, he walked a little closer and put his chin on my shoulder.

"You said you loved me . . ."

"Yup."

"Were you just being colorful or . . .?"

"No."

"So are you going to say it to me at some point . . .?"

"Probably. When I don't feel like I'm being coerced."

He let go of my hand and slipped his arm around my waist, ducking under mine so it was across his shoulders. It was more openly physical than I had planned on being at this point but since we'd just been making out in front of the pharmacy, it probably didn't matter very much now.

I waited until we were on our street before I leaned in and said, "I do love you."

He made a smug face and said, "I told you."

* * *

By the next afternoon, it was obvious that it was all over town and when we walked into Forks Outfitters, I swore I heard buzzing like everyone in the store had started whispering at the same time.

I knew this was a necessary step but that feeling of being watched was still uncomfortable. I was pretty sure that, like Randy, most of them were wondering about us having sex and probably some of them attempting to picture it as well. The thought that other people might be thinking about me and my significant other having sex had never occurred to me with any of my previous relationships and it was the most awkward feeling I'd ever experienced.

"Is this what it's like being popular in high school?" he whispered.

"Little bit, except those people probably weren't thinking that I spent all my free time having anal sex."

He giggled loudly and a woman next to us jumped and dropped the can of soup she was examining far more closely than necessary. Aro retrieved it and handed it back to her. She took it but didn't thank him. I think she was afraid to say anything like maybe a gay slur would come flying out of her mouth like a sneeze if she opened it. Aro smiled cheerily and took my hand, leading me off down the aisle.

We didn't actually need anything in particular from the store, I just wanted to get a jump on the speculation and let them see we were a regular old couple who grocery shops and doesn't wear ass-chaps all the time. I greeted people I knew and they responded politely if a little awkwardly. I tried to remember exactly what kind of touching was considered normal in public for other people so we could use it as a guide. As it was we didn't touch at all the rest of the time in the store but he looped his arm through mine when we went into the parking lot and we didn't cause any car accidents that I saw because of it.

After a few weeks, people seemed to get bored of being astonished and we became part of the general, already slightly off-kilter, landscape of Forks. I was approached again a few times by people but all of those encounters were positive. Nan Mitchell told me she had an aunt who was a lesbian like she was giving me a secret handshake to let me know we were in the same club. Jerry Guffman told me he, "still liked me all right." The oddest and sweetest was an overweight boy named Jared who worked at the coffee shop who came up and put his hand on my shoulder and said, "It's okay, bro, I'm gay too." I thought about trying to explain that I _wasn't_ gay, I just happened to like this one person who happened to be male but I figured that once you'd willingly touched another dude's junk on multiple occasions, the terminology wasn't really that important anymore. He was pretty emotional about it so I just nodded and returned the shoulder pat to stop him from trying to hug me because he looked like he wanted to.

Aro began insinuating himself into the community and quickly gathered together a devoted little fan club of women who wanted to know what he used to make his hair and skin so nice. Aro said he was pretty sure they thought he was hoarding secrets only gay men knew about hygiene but his need to appear knowledgeable about everything led him to actually researching beauty products and giving advice to them. Their worship of him was a little bit ridiculous but he loved it. The men were tolerant of him. He was too charming and too witty to really dislike in any way. Aaron Reamer actually gave him a ride home when he saw him walking in the rain one day.

He went to bed at the same time I did every night. I don't know what he did while I was sleeping exactly but he was always there when I woke up. I'd found him reading in the dark a few times but mostly he was just lay next to me with his eyes closed. He wouldn't ever have admitted to it but I think he craved the security.

We watched TV and cleaned the house and argued. He insisted on learning to cook and just shrugged when I called him a housewife. We went for walks and he tried pointlessly to teach me Italian but every time I tried I somehow had a southern accent. He made friends aside from his fan club and kept saying how odd it was to be friends with humans, comparing it to me suddenly deciding to hang out with cattle.

Our sex life, by necessity, stayed relatively superficial. The discrepancy in our physical strength made it sort of impossible to do anything more. He said being touched by me was sort of like being in a warm bath. Relaxing and pleasant but maddeningly insubstantial. It was more about emotional connection than physical which was definitely new for me. I had obviously cared about my former partners but the goal of getting to the sex overshadowed this particular kind of intimacy. It was disorienting but eventually become comforting.

We were strange. We were normal. We were happy.

I was happy.

* * *

END NOTES: Sue sort of bitched it up there, didn't she?

Charlie's narrative becomes more eloquent in this chapter and I'm going to just say that it's Aro wearing off on him.

Okay. One more chapter, an epilogue and then the sequel! Whooooo!

If you are not stalking me on deviantART already, you should skate on over there and see the arts for this story. There are three posted and more coming since I just replaced my tablet (hooray!). They're motherf-ing adorable and you will never regret doing anything less in your life. Just search this same username. In fact, if you just Google this name you can find every site I post on for maximum stalking power.

Until soon, my pretties.


	9. Take Me Home

**9**

My house wasn't always perfectly tidy, or at least it didn't used to be before Aro moved in but it didn't usually have stuff all over the place either. There were shopping bags and boxes everywhere when I came in the door from work. It looked like a mall had barfed in my living room.

"Aro."

Silence.

"Aro! Did you invite a pack of teenage girls to live with us?"

"I'm sorry, but if you expect me to dress like a hobo, I'm at least going to be a stylish one."

He was leaning against the counter in the kitchen wearing dark colored jeans and a plain v-necked white t-shirt. He looked like he was getting ready to go pose for a Calvin Klein ad.

"You don't look like a hobo."

"I know, I am far too pretty to be mistaken for a homeless person. I saw one in Seattle, he was extremely dingy."

"You went to Seattle?"

"Yes. Did you think I bought clothes like this in _Port Angeles?_"

"I guess not."

"Do you want to know how much these jeans cost?"

"No."

"Six hundred dollars."

"I said I _didn't_ want to know. Who the fuck buys six hundred dollar jeans?"

"Your boyfriend."

"That will never stop sounding weird to me. And why did you have to buy jeans that expensive? How are those honesty different than any other pair of jeans?"

"They feel like money . . ."

He slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him.

" . . . money feels like power . . ."

He kissed my neck, tracing his finger of the gold badge on the front of my shirt.

" . . . and power feels like _sex_."

He took my hand and drew it up the inside of his thigh to his crotch where I could feel he was aroused. He pressed himself against my palm and made a small moaning sound. I was getting hard in spite of my disgust at his ridiculous spending habits. He was right about the power part anyway. He stayed submissive most of the time with me because he knew it made me more comfortable but it seemed like sometimes he couldn't help but display his superior strength and skill with behavior like this. I pulled my hand free and grabbed his hips, bringing them flush with mine. He moaned again and became pliant in my grasp.

I pushed him to the floor and hovered over him. He arched to kiss me and I moved so he couldn't. He wrapped his legs around me and pulled me down between them. I rocked my hips against him and he tilted his head back exposing his throat, making him look the kind of vulnerable he wasn't and never would be. I ran my tongue his along jaw to his ear and he twitched and sucked air in through clenched teeth. I ground against him and his smell and the sounds he made and the way he pretended to be so sweet and soft sent me to me finish fairly quickly. I kept going as long as I could while he followed me, gasping, saying my name as he climaxed.

I heard a scraping noise and found that he'd clawed long divots in the hardwood of the floor.

"Good thing those don't look at all like scratch marks . . ."

"We'll get a rug."

"A cheap one."

"A twenty thousand dollar one."

"That would look ridiculous in here."

"So what? We can fuck on it and save your precious floor."

"Still can't do that."

"_You_ can't."

"And you can't either unless I let you which isn't going to happen."

"Once you discover how the kind of fibers twenty thousand dollars can buy feels against your naked body you're going to let me do whatever I want to you."

"If I do it, it will be because I like you, not because of your embarrassing wastefulness."

"So are you saying you don't like me enough?"

"Uhn-uh. I gave up those games when I started dating a guy. One of the perks, please don't rob me of it."

He let me go so I could stand but he stayed on the floor, turning on his side and laying his arm across his hip. His hair was so soft it reacted almost like liquid to his environment and was spread in a dark, flowing mass under his head, tilted sideways to the floor.

"Well, I've already put out, the least you can do now is take me to a movie."

"You need to stop watching TV, it's making you sound trashy."

"I'm very sorry. Charlie dear, would you like to accompany me on an outing to the cinema this evening?"

"You're ridiculous."

"Come on. I'll drive."

"No, you won't. You always seem to forget that I am not invincible."

"I'm invulnerable, not invincible."

"Are you trying to butter me up by making me feel stupid?"

He smiled and zipped up the stairs. He was already changed before I even got to our room. He stayed draped across the bed, watching me as I undressed like he was judging me for a contest.

I lifted my undershirt off and in the second that the fabric had obscured my vision he'd swept in front of me and was perched on the dresser. He pulled me to him by the buckle of my pants and trapped me with his legs. He slid his arms around my neck and brushed his cheek against mine then pulled me tighter against him and kissed my earlobe.

"Touch me."

"You know, just because you _can_ come twelve times an hour doesn't me you should get to . . ."

"But you like doing it."

It was true and something I couldn't hide from him. I still felt awkward sometimes while we were doing sexual things, especially when it involved me touching him but I did like making him climax. It felt powerful.

"I also like cake but I don't want to eat it every ten minutes."

"Fine. But we're seeing the vampire movie."

"You know I don't care. Why do you like those so much anyway?"

"They're so funny! I love that humans always think vampires are so flimsy. A wooden stake? How adorably misguided is that? I think if someone came at me with a wooden stake I'd play dead just so they didn't feel embarrassed when they realized how silly it was."

He jumped down and slipped past me, trailing his fingers over the front of my pants as he went. He looked back and I shook my head.

"Sorry, still a forty-something human male. I don't rebound that fast anymore. Should have got to me when I was twenty."

"I'll bet you were so sweet and . . . squishy."

"Excuse me, I ran track in high school. I was not 'squishy.'"

"Squishy to me."

He grabbed me from behind and squeezed me hard enough to hurt a little bit. When I protested he apologized but didn't actually sound sorry.

"You're just so fun to squeeze!"

"And one day you'll kill me by accident and then how will you feel?"

"I'll just make you a vampire."

"I didn't know vampire venom could bring people back from being crushed to death . . ."

"As long as your heart is still beating a little internal bleeding is irrelevant."

"As the person who would be bleeding internally, I'm going to disagree here."

"Aw. I won't let anything happen to you, my squishy little human."

Then he actually left me alone to finish getting dressed and was waiting downstairs, looking impressively patient when I came down.

I watched him do his seat belt in the car. It had become just a reflex like it was for everyone and he no longer looked so excited when it clicked. I hadn't had to encourage him to wear this unnecessary safety restraint for show because pretending to be human was like a fun little role-playing game to him.

"You know you used to buckle your seat belt really funny."

"Funny how?"

He didn't like when I pointed out places he wasn't perfect at blending in like he was learning a new language and didn't like having his accent or grammar corrected.

"You just seemed really skeptical and confused."

He frowned.

"It was cute."

"Maybe that's why I was doing it."

"No, you had no idea what you were doing."

"Yes, and you have no idea how to operate an abacus and those have been around far longer than your 'seat belts.'"

"Don't be grumpy. I'll let you cop a feel in the theater."

He was always trying to find a way to get physical in public so I was sure this offer would cheer him up.

"A short one," I added when he grinned a little too widely.

We had been to Port Angeles for movies a few times and even though we didn't touch outside of the theater, we still got "the look" from the ticket people. It wasn't easy to hide your association with someone when it was a intense as what we were currently involved in.

We always sat in the back so that no one was behind us because not kissing once it was dark wasn't really an option with him and it just wasn't a wise thing to be seen doing in a town this small.

I liked watching him when we saw movies because he reacted dramatically to everything that happened. There was a preview for some movie set in a European country hundreds of years ago and a minute in he scoffed and said, "It wasn't like that, they have it all wrong."

"You're the only person alive who would notice that."

"That's no excuse for bad research."

"But you're the only person alive who knows those things, where are they going to research?"

He decided to abandon this line of argument in favor of kissing and we missed the rest of the previews. The theater was fairly empty but once the movie had started he managed to disrupt the few people who were there by laughing loudly any time a human killed a vampire with anything.

It was late when we left the theater and just barely raining. We passed a small alley on the way back to the car and he snatched my arm and tugged me into the dark suddenly.

"This is like the first time we kissed . . . while you were awake anyway."

"I hope you're kidding."

"What would you do if I told I _did_ sneak into your room at night?"

"I would call the cops and have your arrested for breaking and entering."

"I didn't break anything and you are the cops."

"Fine. I'll arrest you myself."

"Hmm . . . handcuffs . . ."

He pressed himself against me, kissing me needily then he broke away suddenly and turned his head. Several figures had appeared at the end of the alleyway. I hadn't heard a thing but I guessed that he had smelled them or their footsteps were audible to him before me. I backed to the wall, pulling Aro with me so they could pass, a small guilty part of me was hoping that in the dark, with his long hair and slight frame they would mistake him for a woman because it was definitely safer that way.

The first one reached us and the finely developed sense of danger I'd gained being a patrol cop told me both that their reason for being in this alley wasn't just because they were passing through and that they were hostile.

"Hey, fags. If you want to suck each other's dicks, you should do it inside where the rest of us don't have to see it."

"You were the one staring," Aro said cheekily and I kicked his foot.

"What did you say to me, homo?"

The guy who had spoken to Aro was right in front of us now. He was taller than both of us and heavyset. Aro turned to him, the complete lack of fear that was a mark of his immortality was obvious and the guy looked hesitant for a second.

"I said, you're intruding where you are not welcome and you've certainly gone very far out of your way to view something you claim to find offensive as you've been following us since we left the theater."

I was about to step in and tell them who I was and that they needed to back off but just then the guy Aro had sassed tried to pull some kind of poorly executed kung fu move and Aro caught him by the throat and held him in place like he was made of paper. The rest of his crew halted their advance, looking wary now. Aro eyed them all individually and then in a voice much deeper and more commanding than his usual light cadence, he said, "What you're considering doing is a very bad idea, boys. Now you're going to turn around and leave here without bothering me and my companion any more because there's really no need for anyone to get hurt here tonight but if someone were to get hurt, I assure you, it would be _you_, and not us."

The guy Aro was still holding apparently felt like he needed to recapture some of his manhood which had been thoroughly stripped from him now by this tiny little sissy-looking gay man and he swore at Aro in a strangled voice. Aro lifted his arm higher until his victim's feet left the ground an inch and then dropped him back onto the pavement where he collapsed.

"Leave. Now."

They did, trying to hurry but not look like they were hurrying. The heavy guy got off the ground and stared at Aro and then touched his neck and said, "Dude, your hands are really fucking cold."

It was such a ridiculous thing to say I almost laughed except I was too worried about what had happened. If they had decided to proceed with attacking us, Aro would have killed them all easily. It wasn't like this kind of thing would happen all the time but how many other situations could lead to him killing someone or losing control of his thirst and feeding on someone?

He slipped his fingers between mine as we walked back to the car. He looked anxious which concerned me. He knew he'd gone a little too far and his worry told me it hadn't been entirely intentional.

I turned the car on and let it run for a minute.

"Are you alright, Charlie? I wouldn't have let them hurt you."

"I know. That's the part that worries me. I thought . . . I thought you were going to kill that guy."

"Yes, so did I."

He sounded as concerned as I did and it only heightened my own worry.

"Why didn't you?"

"It would have made things difficult for you."

"Is that the only reason?"

"Yes," he said honestly. "That boy's life means nothing to me. He was utterly ordinary in every way and I would have felt no regret dispatching him."

"So the only reason you don't kill people is because of me?"

"There's a silly human saying about people loving so much they will kill for it, it appears that I will do the opposite."

"When was the last time you killed someone?"

"Do you really want to know that?"

"Well I know that your eyes changed to gold after you moved in the first time and before that they were black."

"Yes, they turn black when I haven't eaten for a while."

"So they were black when we met . . ."

"Because I hadn't eaten in some time."

"How long were you there at the Cullens before I came?"

"Since you were at Fraser River after Christmas."

"What were you doing that whole time?"

"Thinking."

"That's a lot of thinking."

"I had a lot to think about."

I shouldn't ask, knowing could have terrible consequences for us but I couldn't stop myself.

"Have you killed anyone in Forks?"

"No. I knew the terms of the treaty from reading the Cullen's minds."

"Okay. But you ate during that time?"

"I have killed humans on this continent. I know you will take my reluctance about saying when as a sign that I was doing it since we've known each other but I feel like responding to these questions is letting you continue to not trust me which makes our relationship unstable."

"I . . . trust you."

I hoped. Was wanting to the same thing?

"I know that you can't really comprehend the amount of discomfort involved in going against my natural inclination to kill. I'm a creature perfectly designed to kill and to survive on human blood and the desire to do so is stronger than any force I am aware of. But I'm doing it for you and I'm not asking anything in return except for you to let me be the person you know and not make me defend the person I used to be. There is no defense that would be adequate for you to ever feel comfortable with it but I didn't kill that boy tonight because I made the choice not to. It's up to you to decide if it's enough."

I thought I had let it go until I saw how easily he'd subdued that punk. It was a snapshot of his ability to slaughter humans without effort and it had affected me more than I wanted it to.

But he'd stopped. I didn't have a choice about whether or not it was enough because I didn't have a choice about being in love with him. I put out my hand and he slid next to me and put his head on my shoulder, pressing his cool forehead against the underside of my jaw.

"I'm very in love with you, Charlie Swan."

"Well, I'm a cop who hasn't arrested you for being a known serial killer so I guess that's a good indicator that I love you, too."

"You couldn't really arrest me even if you wanted to, you know."

The seriousness had left his voice and the giddy playfulness that was his usual tone returned.

"I know."

"Doesn't mean we can't still use those handcuffs though . . ."

"Even though you could just break them?"

"Oh I didn't say they would be on me."

"You're scary, Aro."

"You like it."

"I must."

"Take me home."

"Home. Yeah. Do you really want to do this? Live in Forks? I mean, t's really—"

"Boring?"

"Yes."

"Do you not like boring?"

"I like it. Seems like you wouldn't though."

He stared at the windshield where rain was breaking against and running down the glass in a steady sheet now and then closed his eyes and said, "On the contrary, it's exactly what I needed."

**FIN**

* * *

END NOTES**: **So, I decided to ask an open minded straight male about Charlo's sexual relationship and how quickly it would progress since I had assumed it would take some time for Charlie to acclimate to it. But I forgot that they're _boys_ and he immediately said, "If I liked him? Like a week." But I had already written the story so I left it because the lines surrounding that part were too good to kill. **  
**

Also, Aro calling a homeless person "extremely dingy"! I don't know where these lines come from but I could write Aro stories forever. Sexy little imp.

Epilogue soon and I'm working on chapter two of the sequel! Hooray!

Now, I live for the praise of relative strangers so bring on those tasty reviews you're always writing.


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"What do you want?"

He'd been reaching out and brushing my ankle with his chilly toes every few minutes for the last half hour. He was sitting next me, turned sideways in a chair, reading.

"Am I not allowed to touch you anymore?"

"You want something."

"So suspicious . . ."

He returned to his book like I was the one interrupting him and waited until I had focused on my paperwork again before saying casually, like it had just occurred to him, "You know, we can get married in California now . . ."

"We don't live in California."

"But we could take a vacation . . ."

"It's really sunny there, you know."

"It's going to be overcast next weekend in the northern part of the state."

"Convenient."

"You have seventy-five days of vacation time built up, you know."

"I can't take seventy-five days off of work if that's what you're suggesting."

"You can take three days."

"No honeymoon, huh?"

He didn't answer and when I looked up he was staring at his fingernails with an absorbed expression, like our conversation wasn't really very important to him but I knew he only acted this extremely disinterested when he was desperate.

"Fine. But I'm not buying a you diamond."

He scoffed.

"As if I would fall for my own scam."

"What?"

"Diamonds. The idiotic notion that little hunks of glass somebody dug out of the ground are a symbol of undying love is a completely fabricated notion created by an advertising agency to make money."

"What does that have to do with you?"

"It's my advertising agency. And not the first time I've fleeced humans for their gold. It's adorably easy."

"You own an advertising agency?"

"Oh, I own just about everything," he said dismissively.

"Everything how?"

"I have controlling shares in nearly every one of your fortune 500 companies and there's so much money sitting around in various accounts I don't even remember where they all are."

"But you didn't even know how to work a blender when we met . . ."

"I don't do my own accounting, obviously. What a tedious waste of my time. That's what humans are for."

"Okay. So how rich are you?"

He looked at me like I was maybe stupid and said, "Charlie dear, I am the wealthiest person the planet. I think I would have to be a rather profound imbecile to not be at my age. I've been looting the corpses of empires for centuries upon centuries. They kill each other off and I take their treasures."

"Well good to know you're not marrying me for my money because I don't have any."

"So that's a yes?"

"Did you ask me something?"

He set his book aside and rose from his chair. I had a bunch of carefully sorted papers on the table in front of me he pushed them aside, scattering them everywhere.

"I'll put them back just like you had them, don't worry."

He sat where they'd been, putting his feet on the armrests of my chair. He leaned forward and kissed me softly.

"Charlie Swan you should marry me."

"Is that a demand?"

I actually really liked the idea, I'd loved being married before but torturing him first before consenting was fun.

"Yes. I demand for you to marry me."

He didn't actually give me a chance to respond. I didn't know if it was because he was afraid I would turn him down or he was just extra amorous that day but I wasn't allowed to get dressed for several hours after that and any time I tried to talk he kissed me or did something else that robbed me of my ability to speak coherently.

We drove down the next Thursday so we'd there on Friday morning. We had to wait in a line when we got to the courthouse. The clerk said that it had been like that since the day they started issuing licenses for same sex marriages in June. It was difficult not to feel a little emotional watching all of those couples get married before us. Some of them had only been together a short time like us but there were many who had been together for decades. There was one lesbian couple who were in their seventies and had spent their entire lives together and would probably have been called adorable by the most homophobic person on the planet. I asked the couples around us why they weren't waiting and having big weddings and they said they knew that the privilege they had now was temporary and would likely be taken away in the November election so they wanted to get married before that happened because their marriage would still be legal and they could plan a real wedding for later on.

I was proud of Aro for not giggling madly at the "until death do you part" line and then had the bizarre experience of having a room full of people cheer when we kissed.

When we got back I was surprised to find that several of the guys I knew were a little put out that I didn't let them throw a bachelor party. I said it would be a little weird to have female strippers at a bachelor party for a guy getting married to another guy and one of my deputies threw up his hands and said, "They're not for _you_, dumb ass!" Then he apologized for calling me a dumb ass, asked me not to fire him and awkwardly congratulated me on getting married.

It seemed like us getting married sort of legitimized our relationship to the town and the last outward traces of weirdness faded pretty quickly after that. By marrying one of its own, Aro had officially become a citizen of Forks and was then subject only to the regular prejudices and annoyances of living in a small town.

For better or for worse.

In everlasting immortal health.

Until . . .


End file.
